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Forum: Not Trying Not Preventing

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  • 1 Post By Spyctre
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  #1  
July 15th, 2013, 07:46 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 42
Hello all. So Im just saying hi and wanted to know if anyone has felt like myself. My name is shacora and mylong term boyfriend and I have decided to not try any longer (only tried for a month and was unsuccessful). Well im 24 and he is 34 and our clocks are ticking. I am the more apprehensive one. But im conflicted because i really do and always have wanted a child especially with him. We recently had a conversation saying that we should focus more on us and that we shouldnt actively try. But it saddens me knowing we r not trying anymore. Ugh I know im ranting now so I guess my question is has anybody wanted to try when also not wanting to for similar reasons?
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  #2  
August 2nd, 2013, 05:55 PM
LUSHaye's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 986
Welcome!
I think, and this is just my personal thought, that when you're 'trying' then it seems more trying. There's the charting and the counting and the waiting (the worst!) and that can be emotionally exhausting if it doesn't happen right away. You can still be passively trying -- I guess that would be considered NTNP, as you can shift your focus to the two of you rather than fretting. And maybe that will be helpful for you since it would take stress off of you. Stress is bad!
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  #3  
August 2nd, 2013, 09:30 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,679
At 24 your clock isn't ticking much yet. lol Maybe your BF thought it was too scheduled when y'all did try, and he would like to have more lovin'. So if he doesn't mind you getting pregnant but doesn't want the pressure and you want to be pregnant ASAP, you have two good choices.

1. You can do the Sperm Meets Egg Plan or some similar version.
Starting the day you end your period, love him up like a porn star every other day till your next period. If you know your fertility signs, have some extra sex that day. This is how I conceived my first after 2 years of trying. If I couldn't try to get pregnant, dang it, I would have an awesome sex life.

2. You can learn your fertility signs, and you can learn them well.
You can baby dance like you normally would not trying, but know your fertility signs and be SURE to jump him. This is how I conceived most of my pregnancies. Just sex one time per cycle. Men can smell ovulation as well, so if he suddenly wants sex and maybe you have some cramping or a headache(cause those can be symptoms of O), try to get into it. That's how I conceived this child. I actually told my husband something like "Fine, but get it over with. I don't want to orgasm, I just want to chill in front of the tv. No position changes, I just want to lay here. You do the work." I was up all night with a teething infant around that time so I wasn't very into sex. Boom, pregnant.

Good luck! I hope you get a "surprise" soon!
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  #4  
August 3rd, 2013, 12:20 PM
jellybean93's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: South Africa
Posts: 645
Love him up like a porn star! Oh Arwen, your way of writing is BEAUTIFUL!

Shacora, I think DF and I are in a similar situation. I want a baby and I want it NOW! He however, doesn't think it is the right time for us to actively try yet. With that said, we don't use protection and he has the mindset of "if it happens it happens". Works for me!

I think not actively trying is much better. Stressing about having sex NOW because you are fertile, crawling through that horrible two week wait, only to be disappointing by AF arriving or POAS and getting a BFP when it ends in a chemical is absolute torture and personally, far from ideal conditions to conceive!

Maybe take a step back, sex it up when you want to (I find that I usually want sex more than normal when I am close to ovulation anyways) and strangely, so does DF... If you're having unprotected sex, you have a chance every month

Good luck! and rant whenever you need to, that's what this forum is for
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  #5  
August 3rd, 2013, 04:40 PM
LUSHaye's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 986
Sometimes it feels like my clock isn't ticking at all. One lost pregnancy in three years kind of feels like slim prospects.
Thank goodness I don't have to worry about my sex life being lackluster though. Porn stars are go! Although, I never really schedule it. I keep it in mind but sexing it up happens all month long. ...maybe that was TMI.
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  #6  
August 3rd, 2013, 11:07 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,679
There is no such thing as TMI in a mommy forum. We all eventually describe mucus and poopy diapers in vivid detail, at times even linking to pictures on Google. lol
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  #7  
August 4th, 2013, 01:58 AM
jellybean93's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: South Africa
Posts: 645
or taking pictures of our own!
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