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Question 1- What do you do with a bully? Or how do you deal with one.
2---What do you do when it's your 21 month old little boy?
Seriously I need help. I go to my friends house and she has a tot and runs a d/c and he scratches and hits and pulls and grabs and etc... I give him lots of love all the time and he's totally a mama's boy. He cuddles and shares (sometimes) with his sis. I hate that it's my kid. I don't understand why he's like that too.
We are working on this too. I wouldn't call Audrey a bully but she is very spirited. We stopped going to a play group because she just didn't fit in with the other kids. She was too wild and they were too whiney. I've been on the look out for books that demonstrate appropriate behavior. I praise the heck out of her when she does something nice and am just hoping that she out grows it soon!
I would talk to the parents and see what the deal is and then try and talk to the teacher.
If it were my child and they were doing that I would punish them with time-outs but I would also make sure to give them positive renfourcment for the good behavior he is doing also.
This is such a tough age and I know it is frustrating. My little man is 21 mos as well and he wants to hit mommy and daddy all the time. If he dosen't like something he will hit me. Ugh... so frustrating!!!
Biting and hitting as they approach the 2 year mark is very normal. We went through this with my son where a boy in his daycare was biting him and it was in around 21 or 22 months and they consistently told the child doing it that it's wrong, etc... and it did eventually stop. Kids at that age get frustrated easily because they don't really have the vocabulary to really say what it is they want or need.
As my son got a little bit older (like over 24 months) and if he bit or hit at home, it was instant time out. That took care of the issue pretty quickly. Right now our challenge is throwing things so we're working on that through time-outs as well.
My opinion on timeouts is they have to be used/saved for "big" stuff and I also find that trying to work through one big issue at a time is most effective. So if biting is the biggest current problem, then timout for only that until it stops or nearly stops and then if he moves to pinching or hitting, then deal with that, etc...
I lovingly refer to Bryce as Beck's built in bully. When you find something that works, will you please share it with me?
The weird thing about my child is is that he's intimidated when he's around older and bigger kids. He just kinda hangs back and doesn't really play with them and Beck is right in the action. He's totally not scared. So in other words, Bryce can dish it, he just can't take it! LOL!
[QUOTE=Gillian;19807931] Kids at that age get frustrated easily because they don't really have the vocabulary to really say what it is they want or need.
My pedi told me this too and told me to start working with the boys on their communication to help with some of their frustrations and we've been working on signing and it is helping. Plus, its so cute to see them sign! Ah, I love it!
Anna, who just turned 3 is the bully in my family. My 7 year old son is the sweet one! Anna picks on him, takes his toys right out of his hands, takes stuff from her 20 month old sister, hits, spits, and screams at me when she doesnt get her way. It's bad. She spends a lot of time in her room in time-out. It's getting to the point that I'm afraid to take her out in public because I know how she can be. It's embarassing to have your child yell at you in public. I am trying to just focus on rewarding her good behavior now and seeing if that helps any.
Margarets son is hilarious when he is a bully & I think that makes it hard fun us(I am his child care provider) because how you punish when they are being so cute. Donovans issue is that sometimes he doesn't want to share, sometimes he just wants to love on you, sometimes he wants what you have. When he doesn't want to share he will hit you, when he wants to love on you he pushes you over & jumps on you, & when he wants something you have he grabs your shirt & scratches you. At one time or another he has had all my childcare children crying. I think he spends less time actually playing because I can't have him in the same room as the other kids. He totally understands what he is doing because he tells you "mean" but will continue to do it. We have been removing him from the situation because he is hurting the other children, but at this age time out just doesn't work yet. From my experience with other children I have found that early interaction between children is a great help. I taught my children to gentle with others early on. I am not saying that my son isn't mean, but I think it is limited because she has been so active with other children since birth. That?s What Friends Are For: Socializing Your Small Child : Preschooler Development : Preschoolers : pregnancy and parenting on JustMommies