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My best friend and her 2 (almost 3) year old are staying with us (indefinitely). That's not a problem, I love having them here and they are desperately in need of the help.
The problem starts with them not following the household rules (which I am currently in the process of writing up and posting on the wall). She doesn't clean up after her or her child, she allows her daughter to walk around with food and drinks (which we do not allow our own children to do), her daughter will whine until she gets her way (if and only if her mother is around, otherwise she listens quite well).
I am in the process of writing up the household rules right now, and would greatly appreciate it if you guys could throw some ideas out there (so I don't miss anything).
I don't really have any help, I've never been in this situation. The only thing I want to mention, is to be careful of making rules that conflict with her parenting. The fact that her daughter whines to get what she wants is an affect of the Mom's parenting, so mentioning that will probably only anger her. Everyone parents differently, and as long as there is no abuse or neglect, there is no one right way. The food and drinks thing is okay to address, IMO, because that's a household rule, and also a respect issue on Mom's part. Good luck!
My problem all stems from the fact that she is visiting in my home, I feel she should be expected to follow the household rules (which she can no longer claim to be unaware of because they are framed and posted around the house, not only for her but all visitors), I shouldn't have to change my household rules to appease her and her daughter.
I haven't said anything to her about her parenting, in large part because she is the mother, she will parent her daughter as she sees fit. But I have said something about her allowing her daughter to walk around my home with food and drinks and she has just blown it off (my HUSBAND and CHILDREN do NOT do this, what makes her feel it's acceptable for her to do so?).