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Hi all, I'm Randi, mom to Mayley! Mayley is just shy of 2 1/2. I need some advice from all of you mamas...May is throwing the worlds worst temper tantrums. I'm talking throwing herself on the ground smacking her head off of the floor all over fruit snacks. They last for 5 minutes or so and I just don't know what to do. DH and I are so lost on this one. Our DD has always been the sweetest most compliant child. All we ever had to do was explain to her what was going on and she would just say okay and go on her merry little way.
DH and I are exhausted and are so frustrated with these tantrums.
Sometimes when Cesca starts to throw a tantrum, I quickly and powerfuly say "No ma'am!". She usually is still crying but she stops for a moment. If she can stop long enough for me to explain, I do. If she continues on, I leave the room and ignore her. She gets it out, I get out, and then we talk.
i totally empathize. my son was known as "the happiest baby in the world" at his day care. and he was. and he developed verbal skills very quickly so when he turned 2 for a while it seemed like we were going to bypass the "terrible twos" entirely. he was never frustrated with his inability to communicate his needs to us. but then he began (or continued, really) to develop this wonderful independent spirit and along with it came a strong will, strong desires, and powerful emotions. so we've had a few instances of super-long (more than 10 minutes) tantrums and a couple where he's tried to bang his head on the floor. once i put him in his bed so he would be safer, but he kept trying to crawl out. once i held his head until he stopped trying to bang it on the floor of the toy store.
i don't know whether sharing how i now manage his tantrums will help, but at least you know you're not alone!
i have learned that if i show him love, it always helps. by now (he's 3) for a tantrum i have settled into a routine: i sit down and hold him on my lap - loosely because if he feels like i'm physically controlling him the tantrum gets worse - and repeat "you're ok. it's ok. calm your body and then we'll talk." sometimes i even encourage him (or command him if it seems needed) to be quiet until he has calmed his body because he'll repeat and repeat what he wants that he's not getting and keep himself all worked up.
when he succumbs to a tantrum/meltdown, i pay close attention to his body language and breathing because i have to get him to a certain point of almost calmed-down-ness before i can use distraction, or humor, or some other method to accelerate his getting back to his normal sweet self.
once he is calm enough to make good choices again, we talk. sometimes we come up with a compromise. sometimes i get him to understand why he can't have what he wants. and sometimes, once he can ask nicely (with a please and a non-whiny tone), i give him what he wanted and was originally refused.
Mine do have tantrums, but if they start throwing themselves on the floor I either put them in a corner and tell them they need to take a few minutes of quiet time and if you are still throwing yourself on the floor, you can go night night (take a nap, sleep, bed) And if they are I put them right to bed. They usually are asleep or have calmed down within ten minutes. If theres no one to put on a show for they usually stop lol.