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aggression?? help!


Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  #1  
April 2nd, 2008, 01:36 PM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
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Do any of your kiddos on the spectrum exhibit aggressive behaviors? What the heck do you do about it?

My 5-year-old DD has not been diagnosed with a PDD, but she suffers from certain autistic-like behaviors like obsessions with water and spinning/repetitive toys, no true imaginitive play, and dismay at changing routines - her language skills are normal. She was just diagnosed with subclinical seizures in her sleep and we started Depakote a few days ago. She is scheduled for an MRI next month (so far the soonest we could get one scheduled, we're hoping for a cencellation slot). We strongly suspect organic brain damage, but it may also be, or be complicated by, a PDD.

The problem is she's becoming highly aggressive. We have always dealt with her very physical tantrums - hitting, biting, pushing, kicking, throwing things - but it's becoming a very serious problem with a newly mobile baby in the house. Over the past 2 days she has poked the baby in the eyes 'because she was looking at me,' pinched her, rubbed food in her hair and dumped water on her, and pushed her over. In spite of these behaviors, she doesn't act like she's jealous towards her little sister (maybe it's jealousy, I don't know, it just doesn't seem like it). I literally cannot take my eyes off of her for 2 seconds now - if I go to the bathroom I have to take the baby with me. I can't even leave the baby in the crib because she will go and push her over through the rails or scratch her. I love my DD but I am at my breaking point! If you have dealt with aggression, what the heck did you do to help? Thanks for ANY advice!
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  #2  
April 2nd, 2008, 06:38 PM
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Our you going to get her evaluated? I have no advice because I am dealing with aggression with my ASD son and I have yet to find something that works. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Its very frustrating.
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  #3  
April 2nd, 2008, 07:16 PM
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I haven't had to deal with that. I hope someone has some insight!
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  #4  
April 3rd, 2008, 12:54 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This is a hard one and I don't know if I have any real good answers for you. Abby is 14 now but when she ws 5, while she was prone to meltdowns, she wasn't overly aggressive...a few incidents in her first yr. in K but most of it wasn't physical. She did have a few incidents where she spit at a couple of the other kids who said "good morning" to her when she didnt' want them too and she did try to stab her one on one in the hand with a pencil She was given consequences like any of the other kids.

Now that she is 14, she has started with being physically aggressive with me and probably would be that way with the other kids but I moniter their interactions pretty close. We also have the problem with her getting angry because someone looked at her when she didnt' want them to. When she gets angry these days, it usually involves some swearing on her part and the need for me to remove her from the area. If I don't or if she won't go on her own, she escalates quickly. Some days having her go to her room is enough to redirect her focus and other days, its not and we have constant meltdowns over and over. The need to constantly moniter her when she's in some sort of activity is very exhausting. When she, her sister, and I were playing a game together, it went "ok" but when I moved to the kitchen and let the girls play the game without me, she became very irritable and nasty so I had to step back in, end the game and separate the girls. She's like that with her younger brothers too. When my 2 1/2 yr old wanted help with a game boy, she helped him but wouldn't give the game back. When I explained to her why she had to give the game back to him, she threw the game across the room. When I said "you could have hit your brother", she said "I don't care" and called him some choice names. She, of course, had consequences for throwing the game and the name calling. But when she's over the incident, she acts like it didn't happen and thinks everyone else should be over it too. She's very Jekyll/Hyde. Her consequences are losing her electronics for a specified amount of time and going to her room. If she is going to behave in a manner that isn't safe, she has to be somewhere else in the house. Thats it. Yes, she has a brain injury that impacts her in about every way I can imagine but the other kids have rights too and they deserve to have me protect them just as much as she needs me to advocate for her.

I'm not really sure if that helped all that much but I want to wish you luck in finding out whats going on with your dd. Hoping the MRI can give you some answers. My dd had a seizure disorder as well and ended up with eventual brain surgery because her disorder was very med. resistant. Hoping the depakote helps with the seizures. If so, you may seem some reduction in her meltdowns. I hope so. Let us know how things go.
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  #5  
April 3rd, 2008, 07:26 PM
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Thanks ladies for the input! Today was a little better - we told her if she couldn't be nice to her sister she didn't get to be in the same room with her. We only have one tv in the house so that meant no tv, and she doesn't like being restricted from areas of the house. I could deal with this if there was some sort of REASON behind her actions! I can see losing her temper if the baby wrecked something of hers, or if she was jealous or something, but it's like she does this stuff out of thin air. She is so unpredictable and that makes it 1000 times worse. It's killing me to have to wait for the MRI.

After the MRI comes back, I think we will be taking her to a psychologist as well.
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  #6  
April 4th, 2008, 08:53 PM
pautumnsun's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry that your going through this. I dont know what to say only that I get that it is tough. My son Aidan has a hard time when people are in his space. He pushes, throws things, and then throws himself down to the ground. He is inconsolable and doesnt seem to understand that he hurt someone. I notice that it is worse when playmates are over at our house. I have to be very close to watch for signs that he has had enough stimilus. I tell him to keep his hands to his own body and to use gentle touch. I take him away from situations that I know may cause meltdowns. I feel horrible that he does this from time to time but am thankful that he can also be gentle. I am waiting for an evaluation to determine a diagnosis. I hate the wait.
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  #7  
April 5th, 2008, 07:27 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Thanks ladies for the input! Today was a little better - we told her if she couldn't be nice to her sister she didn't get to be in the same room with her. We only have one tv in the house so that meant no tv, and she doesn't like being restricted from areas of the house. I could deal with this if there was some sort of REASON behind her actions! I can see losing her temper if the baby wrecked something of hers, or if she was jealous or something, but it's like she does this stuff out of thin air. She is so unpredictable and that makes it 1000 times worse. It's killing me to have to wait for the MRI.

After the MRI comes back, I think we will be taking her to a psychologist as well.[/b]
I suppose it could be some sort of impulse control issue too. If she's not always angry when she does these things and they happen out of the blue, it could be that she's wondering ""what would happen if I did this"" and instead of not doing it, like most kids her age, she does it because she can't control the impulse. Just a thought.

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  #8  
April 5th, 2008, 08:17 AM
Mjp121212's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sorry I haven't read the pp's. But I know with my niece her siezures and meds can cause agression so she takes desepramine too. We call it her grouchy bear pill LOL! Also, have you tried to pinpoint her behavior on an ABC chart or anything?
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  #9  
April 5th, 2008, 10:17 AM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
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Okay....what's an ABC chart? I'm looking for anything I can figure out and write down to show her neurologist. Thanks!
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