Log In Sign Up

She invited a friend over!!


Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 14th, 2008, 10:00 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
It may not sound like much but dd has NO friends and has had very few for her entire life. She's had plenty of kids being kind to her and willing to be friends with her but as she didn't treat them well when they would visit, they quit coming. We kept up with one mom who has adopted children who have issues that are not the same but similar to dd's. Her one dd was a real sweetheart (at least thats the part "we" saw...mom told me she was quite a handful when the mood struck). She had very serious heart defect and learning disabilities. She and dd got along quite well for the most part...played well together and fought like cats and dogs . Dd went for overnights at A's house, went to a weekly church group with the family, and A was over here on and off. She was the closest dd ever had to a best friend. Sadly, A passed away last fall Dd, has trouble with empathy acknowledged that it was sad and that she felt bad for A's mom and that was it...she didn't shed a tear...not even at the memorial service while I bawled like a baby. Anyhow, she eats lunch with A's sister who is a couple years behind her. She also has some developmental delays and kind of keeps to herself. I've been encouraging dd to invite M over and she finally did. I talked to mom and she was thrilled so we agreed to keep it short (2 hrs). I was very nervous as in the past all dd's visits have always ended in dd getting VERY angry. Her problem is that she wants to keep her company all to herself so she'll try to take them to her room and then they feel trapped so I have to intervene. Dd doesn't want her company interacting with the rest of the family because she sees them as "her" company. In addition to making them feel a little trapped, she never used to really play with them but wanted them to watch her play...that way, she was in charge and everything about the visit was "predictable". If they refused to go to her room, she would yell at them and tell them she hated them and that she wanted them to go home. As A had similar issues, they were very forgiving to each other in the sense that they got over the problem very quickly and what was past, was past. She eventually got to the point where she wouldn't invite anyone over. Then once she hit 12 and was in the middle of puberty, she hit a huge emotional downslide and was in and out of the hospital for a while. Anyway...back to the present. She invited M over. M's mom and I were very happy. I set down some guidelines beforehand and held my breath . The girls played games at the kitchen table while I was baking cookies. Dd even asked her sister if she wanted to play with them . So, the visit went very well and it was just long enough because dd was just starting to get a tiny bit agitated with her sister when it was time to take M home. Now, she may not invite M back over for while but we at least have a positive new starting point. Its progress!!
__________________
Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 14th, 2008, 01:14 PM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 23,164
I really think that's great progress. I'm so sorry that she lost her friend That is so sad. But this is a great way to start a new friendship! Keep us updated!
__________________

Thanks Nicole (MommaDucks) for my new & awesome siggy.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 14th, 2008, 04:28 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central California
Posts: 16,959
That's AWESOME!!!
__________________






Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 14th, 2008, 05:32 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,966
That is great!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 14th, 2008, 11:04 PM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,604
Sweet! I hope it continues to go well
Sorry about the little girl who passed away though
I have a question - does she seem to mind not having many friends? Or is she pretty content to do her own thing?
__________________

Crissy mama to Jack 7.16.01 ~ Mia Bella 10.29.02
Angus Pickle 2.24.04 ~ Sydney Bean 10.26.06 & Kater Tot 2.15.09

Looking for fun lunch ideas for kids? Check out my blog: BentOnBetterLunches!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 15th, 2008, 04:45 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
Thanks guys

Crissy,
A lot of times she seems perfectly fine to be on her own. She tells me often ""I'm going to go isolate myself in my room now"" But she does have times where she tells me she's lonely and that she doesn't have any friends

The social rules for having friends over have always been very overwhelming for her...even with short visits. However, my two younger ones are having friends over more and more all the time and I am wondering if its kind of a therapy model for Abby, even though they are younger. It took me a few days to get her used to the idea of inviting M over but once we had the plan in place with M's mom, she was quite excited. I was happy that it all went so well.
__________________
Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 27th, 2008, 05:56 AM
outnumbered's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: On Top of Mt. Laundry
Posts: 3,943
Send a message via MSN to outnumbered
That is wonderful news! Hunter has had a few kids come over here, but he hasn't gone to anyone else's house.

He's calling one boy his best friend and I'm loving that!
__________________
Jump into Spring! BPAFreeKids.com wishes you good times and warmer weather!

I am a breastfeeding, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, no crying it out, baby wearing mama of 3 boys, one of which has autism. Meet my boys here (having technical difficulties with my website). My blogs are On Top of Mt. Laundry and The Cache Checkers.

Most frequently found at the Cloth Diapering board but also a member of the July '05 PR, Austim board and the Choosing Not To Vaccinate board.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:34 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0