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Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  #1  
April 20th, 2008, 11:03 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Ok so tommorow is Jay's evaluation at the school to see what services he will receive. They were possibly talking about putting Jay in more of a mainstream preschool class. They have one that is more for special needs. The thing is with the more mainstream class he will not really have that one on one like the other class. He seems to do really well with one on one because when he is around a larger amount of people he gets easily distracted and wonders off or stims. I know that dh and I are going to be at odds with this. I think its best that he is in a class where he is doing one on one and then trying the mainstream class after awhile. I know dh will want him to be in the class with the "normal " kids because he does not want to think of him being Autistic. He does not say that but I know. Sheiroky's is his father and he should have some say but at the same time he is not involved in any of the aspects of working on Jay's autism. So in some ways I feel like he does not have a say because he is not involved. Does that sound wrong? I kind of feel guilty for feeling that way but it does not seem like he has Jay best interest at heart because he is still in denial. Should I try to come up with some of compromise with him. I tempted to just have him drop Jay and I off at the school and come home with Jonathan.
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  #2  
April 20th, 2008, 11:23 AM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
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Honestly? As his father, yes, he deserves a say in what goes on with his child in general but in this specific area, since he is not involved, he can't make an informed decision and therefore your opinion carries much more weight.
Think of it like if Jay were playing soccer, and Sheiroky were the one to take him to practice and work with him on his game while you stayed home with the baby, wouldn't Sheiroky be better suited to decide whether or not Jay was ready to try out for the select team team than you?Well, in this case, it's you who are better suited to decide what Jay is ready for.
Good luck.
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  #3  
April 20th, 2008, 12:00 PM
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Thanks Crissy.
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  #4  
April 20th, 2008, 12:43 PM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Honestly? As his father, yes, he deserves a say in what goes on with his child in general but in this specific area, since he is not involved, he can't make an informed decision and therefore your opinion carries much more weight.
Think of it like if Jay were playing soccer, and Sheiroky were the one to take him to practice and work with him on his game while you stayed home with the baby, wouldn't Sheiroky be better suited to decide whether or not Jay was ready to try out for the select team team than you?Well, in this case, it's you who are better suited to decide what Jay is ready for.
Good luck.[/b]
Ditto!

I also wanted to add that in some cases it is better for them to be in a more "normal" preschool. I only say this because Cameron had the option to go to an autism intervention preschool (but it's so expensive) and ultimately we decided to not put him there. Yes he will have one on one with an O/T and work with adults specialized to deal with his needs, but the other kids act the same. He won't learn "normal" behaviors from them and in our case Cameron tries harder when he's learning from other children better than with authority figures (adults).

Having said that, every child is different and learns differently. Cameron doesn't like one on one with me or others really. He prefers to be alone. But he will watch others and then mimic them without actually being forced to interact. You know Jay best. And you know what he needs. So I say go with your gut instinct. You're the mom and you know best. Trust yourself, you've done great so far.
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  #5  
April 20th, 2008, 02:17 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with Crissy. I'd want him to have the 1-on-1 time now in hopes that when he starts kindergarden and grade school that he will be more able to be in the more "normal" mainstream classes then, when it will be more important. That's what I'm hoping for, my son doesn't really follow social cues at all, he doesn't mimic other children yet at this point...

You know your son best, and are best-suited to make this decision.
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  #6  
April 20th, 2008, 04:33 PM
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Location: Australia
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If he has the opportunity to be in a one on one preschool then definitely that is the best option. Our son went to mainstream preschool (there was no other option) but then went to a special school, then he went to mainstream kinder and completely fell apart because too much was going on, it was too loud etc. He then went into an ASD class, 6 kids with two teachers, and it was fantastic. He spent 3 years in that class and was mainstreamed part way into 3rd grade. The more support you can get when they are little the better, I've seen kids where the parents have insisted they start in mainstream and they have fallen apart by around 3rd grade and put into special support classes, it is MUCH harder for a child to go 'backwards' as such and be taken out of mainstream into special ed, a lot of the time they don't cope, get depressed etc.

I'd definitely put your foot down on this one. I find with my husband (who also has some very strong views) that to get my own way sometimes I have to go to the bargaining table and trade with him, if I get to do x this way I will agree to y (y is normally something he really wants me to do or change and I've been resisting).
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  #7  
April 20th, 2008, 05:32 PM
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Thank you ladies. Dh is going to drop Jay and I off at the school and he is going to walmart with Jonathan. I am going to talk to the lady more about this tommorow.
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