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Kinda scared think about


Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  #1  
May 7th, 2008, 11:55 AM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
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the future.
This morning I slept in, and couldn't take time to fuss over Gus and getting him ready, we had to get Jack to school. So Gus, being off his routine, threw a fit. Refused to go out to the van. I had to carry him kicking and scream and hitting me, stiff and STRONG (can't believe how strong he is) and it was an ordeal! It was so hard buckling him in, and I was exhausted. I can only imagine the picture we made to the guy walking his dog across the street Got me thinking though, what am I going to do when he's bigger - too big for me to carry, too strong ?! I knwo a few of you have older bigger kids - what do you do? Or have you gotten past the full-body meltdowns? I'm kinda scared about the future - will I need to hire a helper? He's only 4 now and it hurts when he hits and I can barely manage to maneuver him when he's fitting - I'm not a big strong person!
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  #2  
May 7th, 2008, 04:52 PM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry you had a rough day. I have no advice because Cameron isn't even 3 yet. But he is huge for his age and i know how hard it is to control them when they are big and strong (Cameron is 3'4" and is 38lbs). I don't know what I'm going to do. I hadn't really thought about it. I think I just keep my mind on the fact that Cameron will recover from this. If he doesn't I'll deal with it then. But for now I'm keeping my eye on the prize.

Oh and Crissy I made another reply in the GF/CF thread for you (in case you missed it).
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  #3  
May 8th, 2008, 06:17 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, hopefully he'll progress past the full body meltdowns and he either won't have them anymore or on a very infrequent level. Abby did this and I used to wonder how I would handle having to carry her out of stores when she was older. Fortunately as she grew, the meltdowns didn't fully incapacitate her and I was able to "direct" her out of stores or to her room. If she won't or can't go on her own, I put my hand on the base of her neck...between her neck and shoulders and guide her. As she doesn't like to be touched...especially when she's melting down, it gets her going in the right direction. Puberty has been hard on her and I think it set in around age 9 but now that she's almost 15, it seems to be settling down some and the mood and meltdowns have really calmed down a lot. I know that seems like long time to have to deal with the meltdowns but Abby can be kind of extreme. A lot of kids with autism grow past this a lot earlier than she did. One thing you could look into eventually is seeing what services you qualify for and you may need some in home supports when he gets older. Hopefully you wont and that he'll hit some development spurts.
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  #4  
May 9th, 2008, 09:41 PM
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My 7 year old is 70 lbs now, so I know what you mean. He still has these meltdowns, but they rarely happen when we are out places now. I'm not sure why exactly. Maybe because we usually take him to the same places all the time so he's got a routine going. And if we're out somewhere, I don't push him if he's getting anxious. I just leave as quickly as I can before things get bad.

Anyway, he does still have some pretty bad meltdowns (had one today), but we've managed to survive it so far. He can be self-injurious, so mostly I'm concerned with keeping him safe but getting out of his way so that I'm not a target. I do know what you mean about being worried for the future.

I think it's hard to find a balance between being prepared for the future and yet just taking one day at a time so it's not too overwhelming.
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  #5  
May 11th, 2008, 10:46 AM
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I have not thought about that to much. I am hoping the tantrums die down before Jay gets much bigger. He is strong thats for sure.
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  #6  
May 11th, 2008, 04:33 PM
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I haven't been around in months, but the boys use to have horrible tantrums. It was easier to account for the times they DIDN'T tantrum! Imagine me 7 months pregnant carrying a kicking screaming 2 year old twin in each arm from the park cause they didn't want to listen or leave, or one ran right and the other left. Sometimes looking back I wonder how I survived that! now they are almost 5 and a half, and they have had tons of therapy including a BCBA who writes behavior plans as well as the ABA therapy and a ton of other therapies. I sometimes wonder how much the therapy has truly made a difference, and how much is plain maturity. Now the tantrums last a few minutes, 5 max, and its usually when they don't get their way, and its almost always Nikolas, and he screams. But on the whole, when we are out in public and even in the house, they blend in pretty well with their peers until they talk, or you try to talk to them, then its obvious cause they don't talk like a 5 year old, more like a 3 year old with a speech problem, But now that the communication has improved dramatically I have seen a decrease in the behaviors. I can actually reason with them, well sort of, a couple of years ago there was no reasoning at all and they didn't understand what was happening. When I am going to change their routine I try to give them lots of warning, now that they are older they can understand it verbally, but if you can do a picture schedule (I know on days you sleep in you can't) it might help. It helped the boys tons with transitions and knowing what was coming. And if you can afford a BCBA (or if your insurance pays for it or medicaid, and if you're in the military insurance does pay) They can help alot with the rigidness of routine changes. They are much less rigid and handle changes pretty well now.
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