Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders
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We are just starting out at a new church. We have put all 3 kids in the church nursery maybe 3 times and the two volunteers have said that they did well. However, I was asked to stay in the nursery when one of the volunteers was out and Nathan did not do well. He cried, kicked and threw and then latched on to me and wanted to be held the whole time. His sensory needs or something have changed in the last month and he is acting so much worse. He runs full speed and crashes, kicks and tantrums almost constantly right now. I am afraid that he is too much for the church volunteers to handle and I feel guilty that sometimes our 3 kids are the only kids in the nursery (or sometimes there are maybe one or two other children). What should I do? Should I let Nathan go one more time without me and see how the volunteers say he does? Should I ask if I should stay even though I think he behaves worse when I am there? Should I just tell the volunteers that either my DH or I will stay in the nursery every week because it doesn't seem right to have the volunteers care for our 3 kids including a child with special needs?
I am clueless. DH thinks that we should just put all 3 kids in there every week and if the volunteers need us they will tell us. I just feel like I don't want it to get to that point. I don't want the volunteers to think I am taking advantage of them and I don't want them to feel stressed about how Nathan behaves.
Thanks everyone. I just feel weird about the whole thing. There aren't many young couples at this church and thus there are very few children. I just feel so uncomfortable that my three young kids practically make up the entire nursery each week and then to top it off that Nathan can be kinda tough to deal with. I'm not really sure how to explain exactly what I'm feeling. It's almost like a feeling that everyone is talking about me behind my back saying "Geez, she could at least offer to stay and help out, being that these are ALL her kids"
Anyway, that's what is going on in my head. But since all of you think that it's cool and they will just tell me or come get me if need be, then I must just be paranoid. Thanks for setting me straight.
Hmmm, one thing to remember - You Changed Something!
It's something that almost every Autie I know struggles with. In this situation I'd guess that Nathan has sorted out that church nursery has Rules, and part of them is that you're not around. It's a tough thing to deal with as a parent (and a tough thing to explain, natch!). If he's worked out that Nursery isn't where Mommy goes, and then Mommy appears in the nursery, that's something that can throw him for a loop pretty easily. Then he has to try and make new Rules to incorporate Mommy into nursery, which is why he'd act up so much.
Hard as it's going to be, if the volunteers aren't having problems with him then assume there's no problems and that he's coping. I'm sure if there was any issue they'd be the first to let you know! Have a chat with them and make sure things are fine if it's a worry, then put it out of your mind and enjoy the service.
I am TheHusband, not YourHusband! I belong to Bammers