Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders
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I have always counted myself as a pretty sensible mummy who looks after her son well but also lets him go explore and enjoy his relationship with his daddy (not my partner) without worrying about things too much.
I'm starting to feel really possessive about my son, resenting time he has with his daddy and missing him so much when he's not physically with me that I feel weepy about it. I feel like a part of me is missing when he's not there - even when I drop him off at school.
I'm sure this is down to three things: pregnant hormones, knowing he won't be the only one for much longer and our relationship will shift and therefore wanting to make every second count, and getting back into work and being painfully aware of missing out on time with him that I've become used to.
I'm trying to keep outward appearances bubbly and light about it and be accommodating when his dad wants to see him etc, I do wonder if my son has noticed me hugging and kissing him more though, just hope it's not annoying him / crowding him or anything. I don't want to be a clingy mum.
Do you think I'm just being selfish? Do you think it's just a phase?
I don't know. It could be all the things you mentioned like pregnancy hormones etc. However from day 1 I have felt "different" about my son. The best way I can explain it is that he breaks my heart when he is sad. His cries as a baby just seemed almost pathetic and I still have that feeling. I have no problem letting my girls cry it out if they are sad about something silly like their snowman outside melted but Nathan crying over the same thing just gets to me for some reason. I have been told it's because he is my only boy.
There is a 2 year age difference between my DS and DD, him being the baby and while he is 5 now, I still feel a deeper connection between him and I than my daughter and I. In my own situation- my ex doesn't have a very close relationship with his son- I bonded instantly to him while he still favored my DD. Now- my son is closer to me ( and my DBF ) than ever because he gets a very stable man relationship from my boyfriend and he knows his mommy loves him. My daughter and I clash at times but- I try to do as much with her as I do with him.