Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders
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Ugh!!! My DH is on my case about Nathan's constant stimming. Well he is on Nate's case too. I don't like it but he isn't hurting anyone. He is doing well academically and making some social progress but lord the STIMMING! It's almost all visual stims. Sideways looking, looking at a handfull of crayons is his fav and he will do this while he sits on the couch and recites TV shows. Honestly the kid could stim with crayons for hours & hours. I can't keep the 2yr olds toys out of his room. He lines up any Disney figure he can find and will hunt them down if one is missing. He is crashing all over the place jumping off the arms of the couch or just falling to the floor repeatedly. It's all the normal stuff he does just a bit more of it. Out touchpad (HP version of the IPAD) is constantly in his hands and he is no longer playing games but watching Angry Birds Youtube vidoes. I try to get him to do different things so he is doing more constructive things but I am being pulled in like 20 different directions keeping up with another 5 yr old, 3 yr old and 2 yr old plus working PT, doc appointments, therapy, preschool, dance class, etc.
I just wanted to get this all out I guess. Nate is coming off a steroid cream that I was using for a rash on his face. His skin became addicted to the steroid cream as I was using too much, too often and for the last 2 yrs. It has been almost 3 weeks since I stopped putting the topical steroid cream around his mouth. I have no clue if that has anything to do with his increase in stimming. His skin around his mouth flared up when I stopped the cream just as the doc said it would but now it is getting better. Could this all be related to his stimming?
I am still happy where he is. I haven't really had many complaints from school or therapists. He is doing well with work, just an increase in stimming and some naughty behaviors and resistance. I wish my DH would get off our case. Oh, and Nate has also had a big change in noise bothering him. The girls singing in the car, the toilet flushing, running water and of course the vacuum. He is seeking visual stims and avoiding auditory ones I guess. I know that I shouldn't complain. This stuff seems so minor to what so many other people deal with. I just wish my DH would be more accepting and not be so critical that Nate and I aren't working hard enough when there is a set back of some kind.. I am happy with him. Yes I wish he would stop stimming so much but really I have a son that talks that communicates with me, that I love and he loves and hugs me back. What the heck??? Why doesn't my Dh just be happy about this instead of being so critical and worried about his future. I just know Nate will be okay. I am not worried at all for him. Let him stim. I play with my hair all the time and twirl it into knots that I need to cut our with scissors. My hand is practically glued to my hair I do it so often (driving, reading, watching tv, eating, anytime i have a free hand) If Nathan is doing well academically and okay socially and with physical/OT things like fine motor cutting and writing why does anyone care how much he stims. I know it would be bad if he did nothing but stim all day. But he gets pulled into regular activities throughout the day. Of course if he was an only child and I wasn't so darn busy I could pull him out of stimming more often and he could be doing more acceptable behaviors for the majority of his day, but that is unrealistic.
I just wish everyone would get off our case. Let us be. We got this far, it's not like he is gong backwards.
Vent away!! I know how frustrating it can be when you have a million things going on and somone is nagging about something that really isn't a problem.
Our kiddos stim to calm down and to try to understand the world around them. Why wouldn't we want that for them. Everyone has a stim that they use to calm themselves, for some its just more noticable.
I have read, but I can't remember where, that steriods and antibiotics can cause more stimming and behaviors and since he has been on it for so long I think the withdrawals (for lack of a better word) could be causing more stimming.
I say that as long as he is doing well in every other area and not spending all day everyday stimming, that he is doing fine.
I know with Alex, as he has gotten older his stims have become more "appropriate" because I think he doesn't like that his peers view him as different (which was never the case in the past just something I have observed recently).
You are blessed to have such a great child, considering his medical condition. I sometimes think, some men have a hard time accepting.. I've had the similiar conversations with my DH about A.J's behavior..
Sorry about the cream.. I'm all to familiar with that stuff..
As for stimming.. I had no idea what that was until now.. But I please vent away.. It's nice to know we have a place to go to get stuff off our chests..
I think you should do a little research for your husband. You could just find maybe 3-4 studies that show what stimming does for autistic children, and maybe he would learn to be more understanding. I think its awful that he is so angry about something that is impossible to stop. One thing that I learned about stimming is that once you stop one, something else takes it's place. Tell him to consider what other options there are and see if he'd rather him do something else, like flapping, or banging his head. Also, while he is stimming, you could show your husband some deep pressure therapies to apply, and maybe that would give him an outlet other than being angry. Maybe he just feels helpless... :-/