[Happy Song]

Hello my name is Nicole, I have a bunch of kids. My older two are adopted from the state of AZ foster care. The first one had ADHD the second one has been diagnosed with quite a bit of stuff but he is 15 now and quite a bit more settled. He has been diagnosed and undiagnoses with Aspergers. I have an 11 year old daughter who lives with her father. Then my husband and I have three babies together Scarlett is 3.5, Beau is 19 months and Tessa is 5 months.

I am thinking about joining this board, but seriously my heart won't be broken if I don't fit in. I am going to have my 19 month old son tested due to speach delays on April 30th. We have an exceedingly high rate of Spectrum disorders in my family (1/3 in his generation not counting the adopted) So I am very worried about the fact that he has zero words, unless you want to count dada, which it is not a word but repeating after my husband and a babble. I am more upset and concerned that he doesn't use finger language. No pointing, no "asking for things" and he is a very good baby and easy to over look. Which is very bad with a three year old and a new baby. I am hoping that he is just middled out and not getting the same kind of interaction that my other children have gotten. So sad to hope that i am just a bad mom. Better yet I have bad hearing may be I just don't hear him talk?

I am really nervous about his assessment. My husband wanted to wait six more months. I am not sure what is worse my husband telling me there is nothing wrong and I am over dramatizing or the my only son and name sake is a retard. Which i have been unsuccessful convincing him the Autism/Aspergers is not retarded. I am not sure how to deal with him.

Any way my plan is to have him assessed and hope that the underlying foundations of speach are developing and that he will eventually catch up.

My biggest concern is I want to home school my children but with a disorder/diagnoses like this I think there will be issues with that, so my homeschool dream s seems to be in the balance as well as my son's state of perfection.

So i just wanted to say hello and vent a little.

Thanks
Nicole

[AlexKatieAiden Mommy]

Welcome Nicole!!! I'm Linda, mommy to Alex (7) who has mild autism, ADHD and SPD, soon to be adopted mommy to Katie(6) who has pFAS, ADHD and ODD and Aiden (3).
I think it's great that you are getting your son assessed, so he can start therapy if he needs it while he is still so young. The younger they are when they start therapy the better off they are in the long run. When Alex was 2.5 and only said 20-30 words and all of that was echolia, I had him assessed by a speech therapist who told me that he was a boy and would catch up. At that point Alex could recite the entire bob the builder theme song but couldn't tell me he was thirsty nor did he have any other meaningful speech.
It wasn't until a year later when the second person asked me if he had autism that I started reading about it and had him assessed. He was diagnosed with mild autism at the age of 3.5. That's when he started speech therapy (which made such a huge difference) and sensory integration therapy. And then when he was almost 5 he started getting 20+ hours a week of therapy which we are still doing through a state funded program.
What I'm getting at is, no matter what the doctors say, no matter what your husband may seem to think, never loose faith in your son and what he can accomplish. When Alex was diagnosed I never thought he would be in 1st grade, in a regular classroom with minimal supports, doing 2nd grade work in almost every area but here we are.
Also I do know of families who home school and then just take their child to the school for therapy. I'm not sure if that would work for you but just putting it out there. Well anyways, welcome to the board and I look forward to getting know you better. This is a great group of women who are very supportive.