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Feel like a horrible mom


Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  • 1 Post By AlexKatieAiden Mommy
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  #1  
May 29th, 2012, 08:52 PM
SandKmommy's Avatar Seamus and Kieran's Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 30,100
Seamus has been going to the eye doctor since December 2009 when we noticed his lazy eye, he's had glasses since then too. He's been patched/eye dropped(blurs good eye out since he wouldn't do the patch) since July 2010 for the eye. Between December and July he had a couple eye doctor appts at his normal eye doc (which I'm now learning isn't an MD eye doc forget the difference between the two opti-whatevers lol). At one of those appts I know they did the color test on him with the images hidden in dots, it was things like boats, dog, house, easy things. He passed it then, they reassured me he didnt' have color blindness like my dad. We were always worried the go my dad's color blindness (I'm most likely a carrier) because he took till 4˝-5yrs old to figure colors out and even in the last 10months he gets some mixed up. We'd always get after him about it, saying "you know your colors" or "stop goofing off and listen" since he doesnt' like to be asked to do things like that (or count or say ABC's, he likes to goof off when you ask/force him to do them).

Between July 2010 and now he's been going to an eye specalist every 3months (MD doctor) for his eye trying to avoid surgery. Up till last week they have never done the color test on him saying he wasn't old enough. So last Thursday they pull out the polka dot color test with numbers (he knows up to #100 now) and every single one that was colored red/green he didn't know but the blue/purpleish ones he got all of them. They said he is infact red-green color blind. Its not a life sentence, he'll be fully functional (I know cause my dad is) but it just made me feel horrid for always getting after him about "goofing" off and "pretending" he didnt know his colors.
We're pretty sure he has a harder time seeing green (looks brown to people with red-green color blind) then red, he can see a fair amount of red toned stuff but not all, but green seems harder.

I wasn't sure if I should believe the eye doc at first so I went home and had him do an online test.

Colorblindness Test for Children

I asked him what he saw in the picture. The only thing he could see was a cow in the upper right corner...that confused me cause I saw a deer. I was confused till I read the information under the color test poster:
"Children with a red-green color vision deficiency see a cow (instead of the deer), a fox (in the lower left), and usually the rabbit and squirrel. They cannot see the bear. Red-green colorblindness apparently occurs in varying degrees--mild to severe. Children with severe red-green color vision deficiency may have difficulty seeing the rabbit and/or squirrel. Generally, anyone with a red-green color deficiency cannot see the bear, but can see the fox. "

Seamus could only see the cow in the entire image in the area with the rabbit/squirrel he said it was all dirt.

I know its not an end all, but I feel bad that #1 I passed on yet another issue to him (pretty sure the Asperger's is hediatary(sp) from my maternal grandfather and maternal uncle) and #2 that we got after him so much over the last almost 6yrs about it.
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Last edited by SandKmommy; May 29th, 2012 at 09:09 PM.
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  #2  
May 30th, 2012, 07:15 AM
adi&co.
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Oh Justine!! I've been there.... Marcus has APD. One symptom is that they can't follow easy directions. When he was younger, I would get so frustrated that he couldn't even go get his shoes if I asked him to. I felt awful about getting so upset when I realized he was having issues with understanding me. Don't beat yourself up about it. I do passed on asperger's and APD to my boys and feel extremely guilty about it so I'm right there with you. Hang in there momma. It's stuff you can't help.
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  #3  
May 30th, 2012, 07:59 AM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,009
(((hugs))) I think we have all been there. Don't be so hard on yourself, you didn't know. And I think we have all thought that we did something to cause our child(ren) to have issues, weather it be something we did while pregnant, after or our genes.
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  #4  
May 30th, 2012, 01:08 PM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Inland Northwest
Posts: 7,977
What your going through is completely normal.. I know, because I'm going through it as well. Hang in there..
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  #5  
May 31st, 2012, 06:29 AM
AutumnLove's Avatar Autumn & Carleigh's mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: California!
Posts: 7,269
Like everyone else said... you are feeling such normal grief and guilt. Its something we all go through. You couldn't have prevented giving him these things unless you prevented giving him life. Now that you know, you can be more patient. Its going to be all right.
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