Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders
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Daniel has been very rough with Michaela the last couple of days - he leans on her when he's trying to lean OVER her to kiss her, he touches her face but is not gentle enough, and last night he was very hyped up after school, and on one occasion was flapping about next to Shaun with a plastic pipe he likes to twist and wave around, and hit her head with it when she was sitting unsuspecting on her daddy's knee, then later on he actually purposely smacked her head when she was napping in her pram.
We spoke to him about this, of course, and told him that it's too rough and he could hurt her. I also asked him why he'd purposely smacked her and talked to him about feeling jealous, and reassured him that I still loved him and gave him some cuddles (not right after he did it - he was told off right after he did it - this was later on). I made sure I read his story last night and I also got up to see him off this morning even though I had less than 6 hours sleep prior to that.
Any more advice? We have already reinforced that the crib is "off limits" and will in future ALWAYS put her down to nap in that when he's home - even though she prefers the pram during the day.
So I haven't been on in a while but saw this and thought I'd try to offer up some suggestions. I'm sure you've already tried something like it but I always find coming here to read others' experiences has alwys helped. First of all congrats!!
Second, I know after I had D, Kian used to get jealous. There's a smaller age gap b/w them (3 years) but I had a hard time because obviously Kian wasn't talking or following instructions,verbal explanations alone didn't work for him at that point. One time he hit his brother. I immediately pulled him aside and rather than telling him what he shouldn't do or that he was being naughty (which he most likely was because he wanted attention), I gave him a hug and told him I loved that he really wanted to play with his little brother but that D was still really small so modelled for him instead how he could interact with him. So rather than a hit to the head to "play" I showed him that he could hold his hand or shake the rattle for him. I found Kian really responded to that and became more gentle with him after.
Good luck and hang tight!! Even NT kids get jealous and do these things
Yes, I know. It's just Daniel is so unpredictable - and quick!!
Thanks for the suggestion, I like that. I have been hugging him, but a while after he's done the behaviour I didn't like, because I didn't want to see him as a reward. I will definitely try the modelling idea.
I know you feel bad but even as tiny and delicate as she is is made of pretty stern stuff!
I don't know if this will be an option but we used our kittens to teach our NT daughter to be gentle. We didn't have any issues with Beau as he adn Tessa are only 13 months apart. We are starting to use the kittens to teach Beau gentle.
Now that is an interesting idea. There was mention of a new kitten a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps we should think a bit more about it. I think my mum would be game especially if I told her what you said. Thanks!