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Some days it's hard to be Marcus' mom...


Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  #1  
January 21st, 2013, 11:45 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
I love my guy so much. But some days it's hard to be his mom!!
January seems to be our low point each year in school and frustration.

My daughter had a pretty decent part in a play this last week. We talked to Marcus about it, and he wanted to go. We thought it was better to push him a bit so she could have his support too. Not to mention, sometimes it's hard to feel you get any attention when you're sharing parents with a special needs child. So we tried for special.
Unfortunately, when we got there the auditorium entrance and the big room in front was packed with lots of loud people because they weren't allowing seating yet. Marcus just kind of shut down and actually crawled into a little nook under the water fountain. (it wasn't a dangerous spot, it was about the size of a big box that's indented into the bricks under the fountain). I have grown over the years to not throw a fuss over something like that. He felt safer and better able to handle himself there. That's fine, I'm used to the looks and the way people don't understand. A couple of his teachers were around and noticed him and ducked their heads down to say hi. That was nice
He came right out when the doors opened and really liked the play, so that was also great. Meg was great, we are proud of her

Marcus is also failing in some classes in school. He is the smartest kid I know. But he does NOT do well in a classroom. He's failing gym. 'Why, you ask? It's gym! That's so easy!' Well. Right now, everyone is trapped inside. So it's 40 kids in an echoing gym with lots of running and bumping and yelling. He doesn't do well with that. So he refuses to change and sits in the quiet locker room. The only thing he participated in was swimming. He loves that, and since there are lanes, there is no touching. He HATES being touched by other kids. (obviously this makes gym sports like basketball and soccer hard) I don't even know how to deal with that.
Also science. Which kills me, because it's what he's best at! But the teacher refuses to work with his IEP and 'expects a certain level of independance' which marcus isn't great at. He isn't good with getting ten minutes of oral directions and then getting up and doing those things on his own. I don't know how to help him, and I don't know to get through to the teacher.
This is the first year of middle school and it's really really not going well for either of us.


Anyway, I don't really have any questions. Or really even need advice.
I mostly needed to just get out everything I'm feeling!! Thanks for listening
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #2  
January 21st, 2013, 03:51 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 49
<3 NO worries. We all feel that way at times I am sure.

We have been struggling this month and he is only turning 3 on Monday next week.

I am anxious about those things in the future like school, socialization without me there etc.

You are a brave momma. You'll be ok.
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  #3  
January 21st, 2013, 06:50 PM
TreeTog's Avatar Love is in the Air!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,315
First, I wanna give you ((((((HUGS)))))

What grade is he in? What is in his IEP? The teachers have to honor the IEP. Change his IEP by calling an emergency ARD or find a different teacher.

Leslie
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  #4  
January 22nd, 2013, 06:35 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Thank you ladies

He's in 6th grade. They say that if he's making a reasonable effort it's ok. Well reasonable by who's standards??? I'm frustrated.
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #5  
January 22nd, 2013, 07:24 AM
TreeTog's Avatar Love is in the Air!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,315
I would call the special needs department from your school district and ask for clarification and tell them what is going on. Ask them to help remedy the problem. Give them time to remedy the problem and if things are still going poorly, ask for an emergency ARD.

Leslie
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  #6  
January 23rd, 2013, 12:28 PM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Inland Northwest
Posts: 7,977
I just wanted to stop by and give you a Hug! I can't even imagine.

My kiddos are only in preschool so I have no knowledge of pubic schools.. I'm nervous for my son but thankful we get an extra year to prepare for Kindergarten since he is a Oct baby..
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  #7  
February 18th, 2013, 01:28 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 66,539
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I don't really have any advice but big - and always here to listen/read when you need to rant though I don't get by this board as often as I would like.
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