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Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  • 1 Post By Spyctre

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  #1  
March 1st, 2013, 02:54 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 500
are there any members on this board who have high functioning autism/aspergers or have family that does? I just kind of want to see what that life is like in someone else's eyes that can communicate it because I am just curious and would love to know. My daughter is really verbal but she doesn't have like full on back and forth conversations and I really want to know if that day will come and when.. she will be 4 on April 30 and I am just really... I dunno.. like how is it different for you/your family than being NT? Or I mean that's hard because I suppose you wouldn't know but I just keep hearing the brain is wired differently.. I just want to understand.. and I keep wondering how in the world it's possible for this to even be a possibility for my daughter because there is no history that I know of in mine or my boyfriend's families and I have 6 other neices/nephew that are NT.. I just don't get this.. and I keep blaming myself like maybe I caused this by eating something bad, smoking cigarettes,having a drink here and there.... I just feel awful.. honestly this anxiousness is deriving from the fact that my daughter is at part two of her initial evaluation with a psychologist here in town with her nana while I sit and stew at work and worry..
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  #2  
March 15th, 2013, 11:43 AM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,750
First, you did not do anything wrong! People have been born with mental conditions for hundreds and hundreds of years. Reproduction, like life, is not perfect.

I have mild autism/autistic tendencies. It was weird growing up. I didn't understand very simple things. I specifically remember being 6 years old, and my mother asking me to, "Put that fork into the sink." I looked around. The tv is not a fork, the table it is on is not a fork. The coffee table had dishes on it, dishes go in the sink. I touch a plate. "Arwen, get that fork, put it in the sink!" Plates aren't forks, that thing was a cup. I finally touch a fork, "Thank you. Now go put it in the sink. Hurry up!"

I didn't know what some of the most simple things were. It's like I couldn't make the connections. It was so hard. But some things I was awesome at. I can remember learning how to blend colors before I was two, and I learned sitting in a high chair. Red and blue make purple. Red, yellow, and blue make black. I was able to figure out if red and blue make purple then purple and yellow make black.

But I mostly remember not understanding. Why people behaved a certain way. Why people had certain emotions. I got into a lot of trouble in school because I didn't realize when people spoke to me until they were shaking me and yelling. "I've been calling you for 5 minutes. Go to timeout!" I was just in my head so much. I wouldn't know when bells rang. I was very impressionable. I always had too many questions. I didn't realize teachers were getting impatient with me. Didn't know when people were getting angry until I was yelled at.

I got to see my old report cards a while back. First 4 years of school, every six weeks: Arwen has a problem with authority.


High school was pretty weird for me but better. I finally figured it out. There is nothing wrong with me. Everyone else is the freak! Why in the world does the world act so weird?? It's obvious. I am the only normal person on it.

I outgrew a lot of things in my mid 20's. People still think I act weird, but again it's not me. I have some normal friends now. They swear up and down they are not normal. They are weird. But I know better.



I was very intuitive about my first child. She isn't like me. She has big time Autism. But I knew exactly what was wrong all the time, exactly what she felt and wanted when others had no clue.

My normal child is a freak. I have no idea what's going on there.
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  #3  
March 17th, 2013, 08:34 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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It's nothing you did wrong at all. I've spoken to a lot of professionals and read quite a few books and reports and most doctors' opinion is that most cases of autism are down to genetics.

My son has high-functioning autism. It's very difficult for me to say exactly what goes on in his head because we are really just learning ourselves. He was diagnosed when he was 4 and at that time we could get some verbal exchange with him but not full-flow conversations. We find he cannot cope with too much going on in his head all at once. When he gets too much to think about he paces up and down and you can see him processing it in his head because he's overstimulated - he can't then respond if you try to speak to him. He also cannot cope with excess noise and will actually cover his ears. Arwen, your explanation from your childhood is super helpful because it gives me an idea why it can take him so long to respond to what seems to me a simple instruction!
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  #4  
March 18th, 2013, 11:39 AM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,750
Sure thing!

Excessive noise is horrible. I don't know if your son feels this way, Sharron, but I get very agitated like if the kids are making noise, someone is talking, and the TV is going. I can't focus on any of them. When we have company I eventually just go and close myself into my room alone. It's just too much. Too many sounds.

I was told that many Autistic kids can't block off sounds. Like if you are sitting in a class, you may be able to ignore the buzz of a light. Many children with Autism hear it as loud as the teacher talking, and they start acting out. Just too many sounds. We have a lot of loud fans, air purifiers, and white noise machines here. It seems to help, covers up some of little annoying, distracting sounds like traffic.
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  #5  
March 24th, 2013, 12:28 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spyctre View Post
First, you did not do anything wrong! People have been born with mental conditions for hundreds and hundreds of years. Reproduction, like life, is not perfect.

I have mild autism/autistic tendencies. It was weird growing up. I didn't understand very simple things. I specifically remember being 6 years old, and my mother asking me to, "Put that fork into the sink." I looked around. The tv is not a fork, the table it is on is not a fork. The coffee table had dishes on it, dishes go in the sink. I touch a plate. "Arwen, get that fork, put it in the sink!" Plates aren't forks, that thing was a cup. I finally touch a fork, "Thank you. Now go put it in the sink. Hurry up!"

I didn't know what some of the most simple things were. It's like I couldn't make the connections. It was so hard. But some things I was awesome at. I can remember learning how to blend colors before I was two, and I learned sitting in a high chair. Red and blue make purple. Red, yellow, and blue make black. I was able to figure out if red and blue make purple then purple and yellow make black.

But I mostly remember not understanding. Why people behaved a certain way. Why people had certain emotions. I got into a lot of trouble in school because I didn't realize when people spoke to me until they were shaking me and yelling. "I've been calling you for 5 minutes. Go to timeout!" I was just in my head so much. I wouldn't know when bells rang. I was very impressionable. I always had too many questions. I didn't realize teachers were getting impatient with me. Didn't know when people were getting angry until I was yelled at.

I got to see my old report cards a while back. First 4 years of school, every six weeks: Arwen has a problem with authority.


High school was pretty weird for me but better. I finally figured it out. There is nothing wrong with me. Everyone else is the freak! Why in the world does the world act so weird?? It's obvious. I am the only normal person on it.

I outgrew a lot of things in my mid 20's. People still think I act weird, but again it's not me. I have some normal friends now. They swear up and down they are not normal. They are weird. But I know better.



I was very intuitive about my first child. She isn't like me. She has big time Autism. But I knew exactly what was wrong all the time, exactly what she felt and wanted when others had no clue.

My normal child is a freak. I have no idea what's going on there.
wow thank you so much for giving me an insight into your life growing up! It was very interesting to read and very helpful! <3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Valkyrie View Post
It's nothing you did wrong at all. I've spoken to a lot of professionals and read quite a few books and reports and most doctors' opinion is that most cases of autism are down to genetics.

My son has high-functioning autism. It's very difficult for me to say exactly what goes on in his head because we are really just learning ourselves. He was diagnosed when he was 4 and at that time we could get some verbal exchange with him but not full-flow conversations. We find he cannot cope with too much going on in his head all at once. When he gets too much to think about he paces up and down and you can see him processing it in his head because he's overstimulated - he can't then respond if you try to speak to him. He also cannot cope with excess noise and will actually cover his ears. Arwen, your explanation from your childhood is super helpful because it gives me an idea why it can take him so long to respond to what seems to me a simple instruction!
Thank you very much. I know everyone keeps telling me it's not my fault, it's just hard to believe. I have 7 other neices/nephews and also babies on my boyfriend's side who are all NT and I don't have any history of this in my family that I know of and neither does my boyfriend that I know of so it's a huge mystery to me. I honestly could not believe it. I am 27 weeks pregnant with my second baby, a boy, and now I am terrified for him because I love my daughter more than anything, but I am so worried at the same time and I have nowhere near adequate funds or resources to battle this Thank you for your support and insight. It means a lot to me
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  #6  
March 24th, 2013, 05:32 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,750
Try not to worry too much. Most people I know with autistic children have just one. There are people that have all Autistic children, but I only know people with one. There's two women in my area. One has 5 children, one with Autism. One has three boys, one with Autism. Friends of mine: One has six girls, one with Autism. One has two boys, one with Autism.

I think there is a lady here with two. I don't hear much about people having one after another. I think there is one woman that has three in our area, all different fathers.

My family is ripe with it. My dad had three sisters. He and one of them have tendencies so 2 out of 4. My dad had three children, two with tendencies. My sister is neurotypical. My Autistic aunt has one with Autism. Both have lived productive lives. My cousin does underwater filming. My aunt is a journalist. My dad and I are teachers and musicians. I also do commissioned art. My brother is a jail bird. Yeah, he's Autistic, but the state of Louisiana doesn't care about that, especially when you drink and drive.

I just have one with it. I prayed about not having any other children with Autism, and I got a definite answer from God saying I didn't have to worry about that. So now I wonder if this one is normal or if God thinks I can handle two. We'll see!
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