Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders
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where is everyone? I would so love if we could all start posting more. I find that as I get closer to having my second child the more anxious I feel and I could really use some support. I am due with my second child, a boy, on June 21. I am feeling really anxious about it just because of all of the things I have been going through with my sweet daughter Chloe. All of my energy has been put into her and I fear how having a second child will affect her. This pregnancy hasn't been easy or relaxing. I found out I was pregnant in October and found out that Chloe may be on the Autism spectrum in December and so since then it's been a whirlwind of worry, evaluations, opinions, tears, hope, highs, and lows. I have been so busy with everything that I haven't even been able to really enjoy the prospect of giving her a sibling, although I AM excited because I feel that having a sibling will be so great for her. Ya know what I mean?
I find my worry to be extreme sometimes.. I cry often, thinking about the what ifs in the middle of the night while Chloe and boyfriend are asleep. While I would NEVER change Chloe for the world, there's nothing as painful as a mother's worry for her child(ren). I love her more than anything and just want her to be okay and live so so happy. The challenges that these developmental delays and disorders bring are tough and as a parent, you don't want struggle for your child and I just wish I could take it all on for her. I worry also about my chances of having another child on the spectrum, especially since I am having a boy this time.
At the same time, I have so much hope. My daughter brings me the most joy I can possibly imagine. I would never trade her for anything and I am so lucky and blessed to have her.
I will admit that I am still confused about the road we have been on. I have gotten soooooo many evaluations and opinions and the majority of what I hear is that this with Chloe seems to be behavioral and that I need to somehow find a way to get Chloe into a behavioral therapy schedule (preferably ABA but any behavioral therapy really) and that they want to re-test her in one year to see if that was it. In her sub-sections she was said to most likely have ADHD and ODD. (My boyfriend and his sister were both diagnosed with adhd when younger and put on medication.. my boyfriend doesn't take it anymore though and I don't think his sister does.. but unsure there)
Anyway, I don't like the fact that I am being told first she is on the spectrum, then that she seems to have some tendencies but that they could go away, then that it seems behavioral, and so on and so forth... like don't twist my emotions like that. I just need help for her. I am stuck in a hard place because right now I am working for a company, working with adults with developmental disabilities (including autism) but they don't offer insurance, so where I am pregnant I had to get on a state medical card and get my daughter put on it and I cannot find any behavioral therapists that accept this particular insurance here! So basically, it feels like I am going to have to wait until I have the baby and try to get Chloe better insurance.
Anyway, how has everyone here been? Let's stop being so quiet! <3
I think everyone is just super busy. I know I am, trying to find a job for September. The board really needs a host. I haven't got the time or energy to step back up right now. Maybe you'd fancy it?
Sounds like things are really rough right now. I'm sorry there is so much confusion around Chloe's diagnosis! I know that autism is a super hard thing to diagnose and it's very much a "best fit" sort of thing and not an exact science. It's good that they're exploring other conditions and taking time to work out exactly what it is Chloe needs help with, because it will probably help her development more in the long run. But I know that leaves you sort of "lost" in the meantime. It sounds like you're doing an incredible job for her though! And at the end of the day, that's what matters!
Have you spoken to your dr about your anxiety? It may be worth doing if it's getting to the point where it's affecting your peace of mind, stress levels, health...especially with a baby on the way.
Big sweetie! I know this board is quiet but it does seem like every post gets an answer - there are people who do check in here every few days. Xxx.