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Question about discipline


Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  #1  
February 6th, 2008, 01:27 AM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,565
Hi. I don't have a child with autism but I'm a nurse to one. I'm going to try to explain this the best I can without violating any HIPPA laws or anything.
My patient is 14. He has some retardation from a stroke when he was a baby so his "mental age" is more like 5. His mom and I are having a problem with his behavior lately. He likes to aggravate us. (Hitting, pinching, kicking) We've tried our usual time out, ignoring the behavior, redirection, taking away his games, and it's not working. Holding him down (no I don't do it) seems to just get him hyped up more. Can you ladies suggest any other forms of discipline? (Not that anyone would but don't suggest spanking because I'm not allowed to do that)
One more thing. We have a feeling this increase of aggression may have to do with the fact he is going through puberty now. Does anyone know anything about that?
Thanks.
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  #2  
February 6th, 2008, 01:43 AM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
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My little one is only 4, so I have no experience to draw from for advice, but I hope one of the other mamas has some suggestions for you. (((hugs)))
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  #3  
February 6th, 2008, 11:59 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hello, I'm a mom of a 14 yr. old with the dx of Asperger's Syndrome secondary to brain injury. First, as he had a stroke, if he doesn't have it already, he should have a dx of brain injury. I'm not sure what area of the brain his stroke was in or what kind of damage it caused but it might be beneficial to find out and then read up on the functions of the area where the damage was.....again, thats only if you and mom haven't done that already....you may have. My dd had a seizure disorder and as meds. were not effective, brain surgery was. She's now missing a good deal of her right hemisphere and has a lot of Asperger traits along with some attatchment issues.

I think you may be right in thinking that puberty is affecting his behavior because thats what we feel added to dd's frustration. At the age of 12, her emotional state became something we were not able to manage here at home and she was in and out of hospitals for a little over a year. She also started in with becoming physically aggressive and we really were not sure if we would be able to maintain her here at home but she has calmed down over the last couple of months and we're actually seeing some progress. In talking with her ped., we are theorizing that as she's been in puberty for a few yrs. now, and will be 15 this summer, things are settling down a bit. She's still overly irritable and always has been but we're seeing some of the over the top irrational behavior and physical aggression leaving.

Also, if he's on any meds. that could possibly cause irritability, it might be wise to see if he would benefit being off them. We suspect that one of dd's meds. may have not worked well with her after she had been on it for a time. She's off all meds. and maintaining emotionally.

With my dd, the hardest part about discipline was that she had a hard time connecting the discipline to her actions. To her, they were always two separate issues and what we've done is just stay consisitent as possible. Holding her never worked either...just made her more angry so I know what you mean in that situation. Time outs were tricky because she wouldn't stay in time out, loss of privileges didn't work well, nor did redirection. I usually had to put her in her room and just let her throw a tantrum and as I mentioned in another post, we eventually put a lock on her door for the times when she wouldn't stay there (and for the fact that she would once in a while threaten to run away from home when everyone else was sleeping). The best thing that we have found that works is just being as consistent as possible....with "If you do xxx, then xxx will happen". It may take a long time to see results from it.....maybe yrs., but its the only thing that we've ever seen results with. Hang in there...its frustrating but when they make a little progress...no matter how small it might seem, its worth it. We're in the middle of some progress with my dd and while things are far from perfect with her mood, we're happy with what we see.
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  #4  
February 6th, 2008, 09:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,160
Quote:
Hello, I'm a mom of a 14 yr. old with the dx of Asperger's Syndrome secondary to brain injury. First, as he had a stroke, if he doesn't have it already, he should have a dx of brain injury. I'm not sure what area of the brain his stroke was in or what kind of damage it caused but it might be beneficial to find out and then read up on the functions of the area where the damage was.....again, thats only if you and mom haven't done that already....you may have. My dd had a seizure disorder and as meds. were not effective, brain surgery was. She's now missing a good deal of her right hemisphere and has a lot of Asperger traits along with some attatchment issues.

I think you may be right in thinking that puberty is affecting his behavior because thats what we feel added to dd's frustration. At the age of 12, her emotional state became something we were not able to manage here at home and she was in and out of hospitals for a little over a year. She also started in with becoming physically aggressive and we really were not sure if we would be able to maintain her here at home but she has calmed down over the last couple of months and we're actually seeing some progress. In talking with her ped., we are theorizing that as she's been in puberty for a few yrs. now, and will be 15 this summer, things are settling down a bit. She's still overly irritable and always has been but we're seeing some of the over the top irrational behavior and physical aggression leaving.

Also, if he's on any meds. that could possibly cause irritability, it might be wise to see if he would benefit being off them. We suspect that one of dd's meds. may have not worked well with her after she had been on it for a time. She's off all meds. and maintaining emotionally.

With my dd, the hardest part about discipline was that she had a hard time connecting the discipline to her actions. To her, they were always two separate issues and what we've done is just stay consisitent as possible. Holding her never worked either...just made her more angry so I know what you mean in that situation. Time outs were tricky because she wouldn't stay in time out, loss of privileges didn't work well, nor did redirection. I usually had to put her in her room and just let her throw a tantrum and as I mentioned in another post, we eventually put a lock on her door for the times when she wouldn't stay there (and for the fact that she would once in a while threaten to run away from home when everyone else was sleeping). The best thing that we have found that works is just being as consistent as possible....with "If you do xxx, then xxx will happen". It may take a long time to see results from it.....maybe yrs., but its the only thing that we've ever seen results with. Hang in there...its frustrating but when they make a little progress...no matter how small it might seem, its worth it. We're in the middle of some progress with my dd and while things are far from perfect with her mood, we're happy with what we see. [/b]
I was wondering if you would be prepared to talk with me more about what you went through with your daughter when she was 12 (pm'ing is good). My son is almost 12 and we are really concerned about his emotional and mental health at the moment. He is going through periods of depression, having terrible nightmares and seems to hate us a lot of the time. He has a diagnosis of Aspergers and generalised anxiety disorder.
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  #5  
February 7th, 2008, 12:37 AM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,565
His mom took him to the doc today to have his theraputic (spelling) levels checked. We were talking the other night and think that that may have something to do with it. It's been almost a year since his meds have been adjusted. We'll know something by Monday on that.
He can connect the discipline to his actions. So we know that isn't a problem. He does have a seizure disorder. The stroke affected the left hemisphere of his brain so I'm going to do some reading up on that. The doctor did say something about it could be because his blood sugars are normal now. (He feels better so he is acting differently) He's a brittle diabetic so it's hard to keep him normal.
Thanks for the advice! Now that I look back a little I think we have been more lax with him lately. He loves to test and see what he can get away with.
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  #6  
February 7th, 2008, 10:03 AM
mythreesons's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,693
I don't have a child with Autism but I taught 8 - 14 year old children that did.

Some suggestions I have are a behavior chart. You need to specifically lay out what the rules are that are expected of him. When he follows the rules, he earns a sticker. You can determine the time frame based on how long you think he can maintain that behavior. After x amount of stickers, he can earn a desired reward. I have found that positive reinforcement works better than taking something away.

The other thing I would suggest is some SI (Sensory Integration) time, especially if the hormones are making him more wild than usual. Some things I would suggest are jumping on a trampoline, bouncing on a large ball, a psuedo obstacle course. If he gets overstimulated, you can try calming techniques like brushing (you can do this on his arms and head), therapeutic putty is also good to use.

I hope some of this info helps.

If you have any questions feel free to contact me.
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  #7  
February 7th, 2008, 10:30 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
Quote:
His mom took him to the doc today to have his theraputic (spelling) levels checked. We were talking the other night and think that that may have something to do with it. It's been almost a year since his meds have been adjusted. We'll know something by Monday on that.
He can connect the discipline to his actions. So we know that isn't a problem. He does have a seizure disorder. The stroke affected the left hemisphere of his brain so I'm going to do some reading up on that. The doctor did say something about it could be because his blood sugars are normal now. (He feels better so he is acting differently) He's a brittle diabetic so it's hard to keep him normal.
Thanks for the advice! Now that I look back a little I think we have been more lax with him lately. He loves to test and see what he can get away with.[/b]
Hopefully a med adjustment will help him. I don't really know what kinds of effects puberty can have on the meds and how effective they are. I know that some meds. have to be adjusted if there is any weight gain or loss so its good that he'll get checked on this. I hope things settle for them soon. The emotional instability...especially when there's some physical aggression can really take its toll on everyone.
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"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
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