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Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  #1  
February 29th, 2008, 08:36 AM
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This morning dh was asking Jay do you want a banana. I told him to use the eat sign when asking Jay if wants something to eat. I showed him and he was like I am talking to him like he is a normal child. He said let me do how I want to or something like that and you can the way you want to. His teacher and therapist said to start using sign language. It irratates me that he will not cooperate with this. I do not want Jay to get confused and I keep using the signs because I want him to be able to communicate his needs to me without whining/screaming. This may sound horrible but it seems like he maybe does not care a whole lot because he is not the one home with him. So how do I go about talking to dh about using the signs. Its like he is some expert. If he would sit down when the teacher is here then he would hear we are supposed to use sign. I also told him that when he takes Jay out that he needs to be home no later then 7pm because that is Jay's bedtime and when he goes to bed late its hell the next morning.
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  #2  
February 29th, 2008, 11:37 AM
outnumbered's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Does your hubby agree with the diagnosis? Has he read thru the evaluation papers, talked with any of the therapists at all?

My hubby followed my lead because he knew I was the one doing all the interviews/reading all the books, so I showed him what to do and he did it. If your hubby understands the need why the therapists want you to use sign language at home, then maybe he'll be more open to it. It sounds like he might still be having a tough time accepting the diagnosis. Be patient with him.

We used a few signs, but we also used the Picture Exchange System (PECS). I found that the best for us because anybody can communicate with the child that way. You can put pictures by doors of the house, on cupboards, but also on place mats during snack time. Use pieces of Velcro to change the choices.
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  #3  
February 29th, 2008, 06:35 PM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My DH works from home so he comes to all the appointments with me. He's really hands on and he takes my lead with everything. I would just sit him down and show him everything on paper. Let him know that with every time he does the opposite or "his own thing" that he undoes all the work and progress that you make. It sounds to me like he's in denial and just doesn't want to accept the fact that your son has special needs. Is that possible?
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  #4  
February 29th, 2008, 10:57 PM
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(((hugs))) I know he can be stubborn, and he doesn't want to accept that Jay has special needs. Could you make sure he is home next time Jay's teacher is there and have her specifically invite him to learn some signs to use with Jay, and have her tell him why it's important?
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  #5  
March 1st, 2008, 06:48 AM
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I think he is in denial. He just keep saying Jay has problems but will not even say the word Autism. He just keeps saying I am going to talk to him like a normal child, but he is not. He needs to be taught diffrent. He is still the sweet lovable Jay we know he is just wired diffrently.

Crissy the teacher is here when dh is home but he almost never sits in and I think he should. I am going to get the teacher to get Sheiroky to sit and to explain to him that its important to use sign. I know he is trying to be a good dad (which he is) but he is not the expert on this. I would not say that to him though. I am going to make sure she tells him she has been a teacher for 15 years and she works with autistic children everyday. Maybe it will help if he hears it from her.
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  #6  
March 2nd, 2008, 10:09 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have to agree that it sounds like he is in denial right now. Hopefully over time, he'll be able to observe that the way you are working with Jay is helpful. Seeing Jay respond to some of the techniques used may help him come around and start using them himself.

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  #7  
March 3rd, 2008, 05:37 AM
outnumbered's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I do agree with your hubby that you should talk to Jay as you would any other child, but use sign language, etc., along with that.
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Jump into Spring! BPAFreeKids.com wishes you good times and warmer weather!

I am a breastfeeding, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, no crying it out, baby wearing mama of 3 boys, one of which has autism. Meet my boys here (having technical difficulties with my website). My blogs are On Top of Mt. Laundry and The Cache Checkers.

Most frequently found at the Cloth Diapering board but also a member of the July '05 PR, Austim board and the Choosing Not To Vaccinate board.

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  #8  
March 3rd, 2008, 10:06 AM
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I do agree about talking to him like a normal child. When I do ask him he wants drink I say and sign.
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