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Before your dc was diagnosed...


Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders

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  #1  
March 7th, 2008, 07:20 PM
Tofu Bacon
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Did you often second-guess yourself on whether or not something was really wrong?
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  #2  
March 8th, 2008, 08:42 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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On certain things I have second guessed myself but dh and I tend to second guess dr.'s more than we second guess ourselves. My oldest was born with a seizure disorder and it took 24 hours for ex and I to convince the dr.'s and nurses that something was wrong and its been the running theme of dd's life for the last 14 1/2 yrs. Until they saw the seizures, they considered us just new, over anxious parents.

What I questioned myself on most has always been her behavior/mood/temper and I used to think that it was something I was doing or not doing to make her act that way. But after numerous behavioral intervention plans and continuing research in brain injury/functions, I know its not "me"...but more of the way her brain was damaged due to seizures and surgery....same with her Asperger's dx....it fits because of her brain injury not my parenting.

But, when they are little, I think its easier to second guess because the range of "normal" is so vast. So, when a few symptoms start showing up, its hard to tell if something might be wrong or if we're just being paranoid. I think its just part of being a parent...we sometimes worry when we shouldn't and sometimes don't worry when we should.
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  #3  
March 8th, 2008, 09:45 AM
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I think its perfectly normal to second guess yourself. I started seing the signs of Autism in october I believe. I said something to my dh and he basically thought I was crazy. We took him to the doctors and his ped said there is no way since he makes eye contact and interacts. I called EI to get him evaluated for delays. I said I suspected autism. The first day Jay's teacher came out she was pointing out red flags and I called to get the ball rolling on getting him evaluated. As each day went on it was more apparent that he had autism and I found out febuary 21st that I was right and he was dx with moderate Autism.

Our you getting a evaluation for your dc?
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  #4  
March 8th, 2008, 11:10 AM
Tofu Bacon
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Yes, he's being evaluated next month (we suspect Asperger's) . Dh and I have had a feeling that he was "different" since he was about 18 months old...but we were in denial and just sort of chaulked it up to him being an only child and having a relatively sheltered life. And really, we figured that a lot of his behavior was just normal toddler behavior; let's face it, toddlers can be odd! But its time. We can't put it off any longer because its obviously not going to just go away, y/k? We're frustrated because we know something is wrong, but my mother keeps trying to talk me out of it, saying that he is perfectly fine, just a little quirky. I kid you not, ds is virtually a perfect text-book case of Asperger's...but her doubts are starting to make me wonder if we're just being overly concerned, not that she's in any way qualified to have an opinion on autism.
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  #5  
March 9th, 2008, 05:38 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Its a good decision to get the eval and I know your mom probably means well but go with your gut. With my dd, part of my doubts on her mood issues were due to other people...family/friends and the dr.'s were because they all thought it was my parenting. As there were so many who thought similar things, I was sure there was something "I" was doing wrong. Oddly the comments were either, "you aren't hard enough on her...she's spoiled" or the complete opposite of "you have too many rules" Then I start reading about what can happen when you either damaged or are missing certain areas of the brain and .... I see my dd. As far as your mom's comments on "a little quirky", a lot of Aspies are "a little quirky". My older brother fits almost to a T as well but my family would rather use the lable "wierd"

Hoping things go well with the eval and that a lot of your questions are answered.


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  #6  
March 11th, 2008, 09:43 AM
outnumbered's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No. Once I read all that I could on the subject, I came to the conclusion that he was before the official diagnosis. There was a three month waiting period before he got evaluated.
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  #7  
March 12th, 2008, 12:47 AM
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In the case of my son, I was the one making excuses, explaining things away, like if someone asked if he shouldnt be talking by now, I would say, oh, his brother and sister talk for him, doesn't mean anything, Einstein didn't speak until he was 4, or why did he do the funny little things he did (stimming), well that was just his quirky little way, he took after me, I wasn't going to read too much into it. Until his doctor visit (for something unrelated) when he and another ped brought up autism to me, and listed their observations, and I saw it all put together and went "oh" - and then the dx was really just a formality, I began to notice EVERYTHING and it all made sense, how had I missed it? I'm sure your MIL just wants him to be OK.

edited spelling - tired
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  #8  
March 13th, 2008, 08:20 AM
Tofu Bacon
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Well, we were finally able to get an appointment; its on 4/29. I can't get over how the wait for a specialists is about 4 months on average...and this is in metro NY, not a small town doctor's office! Ds had his annual physical yesterday and our pedi agreed that he is showing obvious signs of Asperger's. He also schooled me in navigating the system because apparently the school districts are letting kids like ds fall through the cracks; they're supposed to be getting special services while in preschool age so they will be more likely to be able to be mainstreamed by 1st grade. The schools put first priority on the children who are already in EI, but kids like ds would never have been in EI in the first place because they didn't have any loss of skills or obvious delays that would have been caught earlier. We're so frustrated with figuring out what we are going to do if the school decides he's not impared enough for special ed preschool...there is no way he can handle being in a regular preschool, but homeschooling him isn't going to help him with his social delays, his worsening sensory issues, or his mind-numbing repetition.

Quote:
I saw it all put together and went "oh" - and then the dx was really just a formality, I began to notice EVERYTHING and it all made sense, how had I missed it?[/b]
That's what we're saying now, too...
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