Breaking the habit...

Bre.Wonch · #1 January 16th, 2012, 06:31 PM

My 5 year old cant go to sleep without someone laying with her until she falls alseep, sometimes this can be a 2 to 3 hour process to get her to fall asleep. If she wakes up in the middle of the night and noone is in her room with her, she cries and says we left her alone. I dont like using a night light in her room because when its on she just gets up and dances around and stuff. It pretty much keeps her awake. Any suggestions on how to break the habit?

Cesca · #2 January 17th, 2012, 07:39 AM

I would slowly start weaning her off of it. Give her advanced warning that on a specific day you're going to start only laying with her for a certain length of time. So like this week continue as you have but prepare her that starting next week you're only going to lay down for an hour. Do this for a week or two. Then when she's used to you leaving, leave a little earlier. Keep doing that until she's able to go to sleep without you there.

As far as when she wakes up at night I would go in and comfort her. Reassure her that you left the room but did not leave her alone. And lay down with her for a few minutes until she's calm. (just until she's calm)

All through the process tell her she's a big girl. Even in other situations. Find ways to work in what a big girl she is for being able to do other stuff. Then, as introducing sleeping alone, let her know that big girls sleep in their rooms and that Mommy is also a big girl and has to sleep in her own room too.

Good luck!!

Mod-kerian · #3 January 17th, 2012, 10:01 AM

great advice Frankie!!!

~*Mandy*~ · #4 January 18th, 2012, 12:26 PM

My 4 year old used to do this bad too and we still have our nights but we tried the weaning and fnally just put our foot down one night and it took a few nights but it worked.

Still hard no matter what you do consistency is key.

clouise · #5 January 19th, 2012, 04:58 AM

If it was my kid I would just cut her off. She is a big girl, and it is time. Just make sure she has everything she needs, say I love you and goodnight, and leave the room. If she gets back up tuck her back in again. If she wakes up at night go tuck her back in and give her another kiss...then head back out of there. I really think after just a few nights of this she would see that you are not going to cater to her at bedtime any longer and will begin to self-soothe and get into a better routine.

KerryJo · #6 January 23rd, 2012, 08:58 PM

We are going through the process of of weaning my DS from having someone lay with him to go to sleep and then when he wakes in the middle of the night he comes and climbs in my bed. He had decided he wants bunk beds because he wants to share them with a baby brother (keep in mind we are not even TTC yet!) and that is all he will talk about. So I made a chart and he gets a star for every night he goes to bed by himself (with us in a chair in his room or outside his door) and he stays in his bed all night.

He is allowed out in the morning. The first couple of nights he woke up but stayed in his bed and then a few nights of sleeping through the night!! He has sneaked into my bed last night so its still a work in progress but our method seems to be working.

Kerry

Trish36 · #7 February 2nd, 2012, 11:03 AM

My DS was terrible that way. What I used to do is start off by standing in the doorway for a while. So I wasn't actually in the room with him but he could still see me. Then after a while I would say that I had to go get something or go to the bathroom etc. and come back after a few minues. And I would do this a few times until he'd fall asleep. Every few nights I would make him wait longer and after a time he would fall asleep faster.
I would also leave the light on in the hallway and his door open, plus I would call out to him that I could hear him if he ever needed me. It took some time, but eventually he got used to it.

Isabelle used to also have to fall asleep with the door open and light on in the hallway. Now I've moved her into the same room as the baby and boy do we have a conflict. The baby only sleeps in the dark with the door closed. So Isabelle has to get used to being in the dark. She's not liking it too much, but I will leave the blinds open for her a bit so that she gets the moonlight shining into the room.
Sometimes rewards work also. If she lies down and closes her eyes, she can do 'xxx' in the morning.
Good luck!

Cesca · #8 February 2nd, 2012, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trish36

My DS was terrible that way. What I used to do is start off by standing in the doorway for a while. So I wasn't actually in the room with him but he could still see me. Then after a while I would say that I had to go get something or go to the bathroom etc. and come back after a few minues. And I would do this a few times until he'd fall asleep. Every few nights I would make him wait longer and after a time he would fall asleep faster.

I do this with my daughter. She'll want me to lay with her so I will for a bit then all the sudden I'll "have to go potty" and leave the room.

Lucia_mommy · #9 February 4th, 2012, 12:18 PM

I agree with Clouise

Buggymom · #10 February 9th, 2012, 06:04 AM

Our daughter does that. I have to lay with her every night. She will also wake up in the middle of the night and I will have to go in there and lay down. I tried to break the habit; but, she ended up staying awake til midnight on a school night and I still had to lay with her. My goal is to work on that this summer.