[rebeccabaltimore and more]

I have 12 cavities all from chronic dry mouth - which was worsened by stress.

I cannot eat during the day. I have to force myself. All I can do is drink. I'm happy to lose weight but this isn't the way to do it.

Because of the trouble eating, I only eat what appeals to me. Which is all carbs. So I'm deficient in protein.. This has caused chronic anemia. And a depressed immune system.

Now I have telogen effluvium. Translation: months and months and months of hair loss. Stress induced hair loss. You can't see it luckily. I have to go on Rogaine and be extremely gentle with my hair.

I don't understand. Yes I'm stressed. But has it really been THAT bad? Maybe my perspective has skewed because of all the pregnancy losses.

Less stress they say. But I can't even identify one single cause! It's just my whole life. Today my eyeball got all weird (double vision stuff) from exhaustion, a recurring problem since my MS flare in July. Fatigue,not enough sleep, too many things to do, no money - all of us have these!!! How do I reduce my stress when these are the stressors!

[TheMrs]

I'm not sure what to tell you hun. I'm nearly the opposite, I usually let things roll of my back, but I do get over stressed when I have little control over a situation. Is there any way you can have more control over the things that are stressing you out? Or at least a way to get reassurance?

I think this is generally a rough time of year. I am rarely sick or have symptoms of stress and I have two canker sours, my eyes are dried out, my lips are chapped, I'm getting irritated more easily and I am SO tired. Twice in the past week I was seriously contemplating taking a nap over eating lunch.

I don't keep up here as much as I should, so I don't know everything going on. But I hope things get better and hope it gets better in the next couple of weeks. This is a rough time of year for many.

[lunarmagic]

Oh man. It is a rough time of year. And I think with stress like that... when you get overwhelmed and lose your appetite (which happens to me all the time) that just makes everything worse and it's a downward spiral from there. I can't tell you what to do to fix it. But maybe starting with something simple like protein shakes? Something to make sure you at least get some protein. (I'm a carb fiend too. Not good.)

[survey77777]

It's rough when everything flares up. I hope you can gain some balance and control soon. Not a fun place to be. I have had some similar issues lately and have convinced my self that maybe it's some hormonal imbalance that I just haven't been able to get back into check since having G? I don't know. Just sharing what I've been thinking about it all. If I knew how to fix it...well I'd be rich...and famous.
The only thing that helps me is to really focus on what's important to me and limiting my already limited energy and time to those people and things.

[sodagirl]

My best suggestion is meditation - but I don't know if that's wise with your other mental health stuff. Do you have some peaceful nice music you like? Could you take 5 min every morning and evening to just sit quietly (or stretch) and listen to a song you like?
Or a little exercise. seems counter intuitive but it can increase your energy. Even just a little dance with grant!
or laughter - rent a comedy to watch with your DH.
That's what I've got for now - oh - and I love this book: http://www.amazon.com/Momfulness-Mot...3759823&sr=8-1 my mom gave it too me!

[momoftwins]

Originally Posted by survey77777

It's rough when everything flares up. I hope you can gain some balance and control soon. Not a fun place to be. I have had some similar issues lately and have convinced my self that maybe it's some hormonal imbalance that I just haven't been able to get back into check since having G? I don't know. Just sharing what I've been thinking about it all. If I knew how to fix it...well I'd be rich...and famous.
The only thing that helps me is to really focus on what's important to me and limiting my already limited energy and time to those people and things.

Totally agree. I have learned to do that too with the RA. I used to be really stubborn about things, and insisting on doing everything myself. I ran myself silly until my body just about broke. I was stuck in a mega flare that just wouldn't ease up. I realized that I have to let some things go or I won't be able to be the mom I want to be for my kids. I let DH take over the laundry (which is terrifying), among other things, and I said screw it on picking up toys and stuff constantly. It just ends up back on the floor in 3 minutes, so why kill myself??? I'm much less stressed now and it shows in my joints. I'm no where near pain/fatigue free, but it's a darn good improvement.

You do have a lot on your plate and I'm sure it all weighs heavily on you. I hope things calm down soon!!

[BeckyM]

Lots of great advice given. I really hope things calm down for you soon.

[LuvsGavinNJamie]

I understand the feeling of being broken, physically and mentally. I struggle with it all the time and my husband doesn't understand; definitely my kids don't. I am tired ALL the time. I fill my time as much as I can with watching TV or reading--anything that can keep my mind busy because I drive myself crazy when I have nothing to do with it. One track activities like cleaning don't do it, either. Your mind can wander doing those things.

That isn't advice. I'm not telling you to hide from your troubles. A certain amount of escape in pleasurable activities is great, but my extent of escapism is detrimental to the housework. I'm just saying that is what I do to keep myself level. Lately I've been working on breaking some of the cycle.

Stupid question: Are you getting enough sleep or seeing a counselor, just someone you can talk to like an adult for a few minutes?

Three months ago I would never recommend it. I thought: My husband is my best friend, why can't I talk to him about this stuff? And I thought it would be strange to share stuff with a stranger. But I found that there are definitely things I can't come to talk about with him. And sometimes he doesn't really hear what I mean when I do talk to him about the more deep feelings I have, just like he doesn't understand how I still feel this deep and sometimes crippling feeling of sorrow rise within me despite having and loving the family we have built, our home, and feeling my needs are met. It was great for me to see a counselor, just to talk to another adult, where I was sure they wanted to listen and it wasn't going to complicate a relationship that is the most important thing in the world to me, the relationship I have with my husband (marriage is already complicated without personal issues in the background). And so what if my husband doesn't understand why I need to go. He will eventually reap the benefits if I become happier and more balanced as a result. He used to be totally against the idea of anti-depressants for me too, but he never has micromanaged me and now he is totally on board as he sees how much I can suffer without them (and he never realized his mother is on them and has been for years).

I don't know what your problems are, so I recognize that my suggestions are at the least very generic. I'm not all put together myself. On a daily basis I can be a nutcase at random and I'm still working on finding what is best for me. I feel like one counselor session was not enough to fix me. In fact, in this world I don't think I'll ever be totally whole. Nothing will change my childhood in a single parent home (mother), my father's death at 51, or my 29 year old cousin's suicide in August. Nothing will change my family disposition to depression and anxiety. You can't rewrite history.

If none of this helps or comforts, I'm so sorry. And I don't pretend that my problems are as great as anyone else's. I know they're not. It doesn't keep me from feeling totally miserable at times and I want you to know you're not alone.

[icarryyourheart]

Originally Posted by survey77777

The only thing that helps me is to really focus on what's important to me and limiting my already limited energy and time to those people and things.

Wise advice! Though it can be very hard to implement.

Rebecca I'm sorry you're not feeling so hot. I wish I had some good advice! If it is any consolation, you're not alone... we should have a chronic illness support group here.... lol.