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He started this whole process by wanting to do what we do!!! He got a potty for his birthday at a year old and he's been very interested now that he's almost 2. Our day care provider has been helping us and taking him every 20 mins, and we do the same at home. but he's still wetting in between those 20 mins. He's not emptying all the way or something??? We ask him to finish but he says done, and starts whinning to get down. We are still in diapers because hes wetting so much but here at home he gets either big boy undies or he's bottom less. When he's in undies he still has accidents but when he's naked he "remembers" to go. I'm afraid if we stick to this plan he'll just go right back to having accidents in his undies once he starts wearing them again. We are soooo confused please help us??!!
First off, you need to be consistent. Find a way that works and stick with it. Don't go back and forth becuase that will be confusing for him.
Here's my recommendation:
1) Pick a date and do it. No wavering. You are in control, not him.
2) Put him in underwear
3) Take him to the potty every half hour and let him sit there for 5 minutes. If he does something, GREAT. If not, that's ok and try again in another half hour. If he does go, put him on the pot again every half hour until he goes again. This will help you gauge how long he can hold it (it will vary from time to time because he's just learning. Once he gets the hang of it, it will become more and more consistent). However, with him going in between potty breaks that are 20 minutes, you might need to take him a bit more frequently so that he understands, then you an increase it to 20 then 30 minutes.
4) I totally recommend this watch. It will end up being more for you then him because you'll start to forget the time after awhile. But, he'll like it because it plays music, he'll know it's time to go potty, and it gives him something to look forward to.
5) Reward system. I personally use food as the motivator. M&Ms to be exact. Caleb got the hang of it REAL quick. The moment he does something on the potty, give him that treat right then and there, praise him to no end and let him know that he did a GREAT thing. You'll be surprised at how quick he'll learn when you give him that treat. It doesn't have to be M&Ms obviously, but give him something that he hardly gets at all. It will mean more to him, he'll learn quick, and it will be something VERY rewarding for him.
6) Once he gets the hang of going to the potty consistently for a half hour (about a week), then increase the time to 45 minutes and let him sit on the pot for about 10 minutes. This will start to teach him to hold it. If he has an accident, note the time that he did it and the last time that he pee on the pot. If he can hold it for 40 minutes, for example, then you know to take him every 40 minutes. Get him used to doing that for a week, then increase the time to an hour and so forth. I think the watch does 30, 60 and 90 minute increments.
7) Don't worry about catching poops right now. Get him pee trained first, then you can work on the poop later.
8) Don't get frustrated. This is a hard one for sure. It's hard not to get angry or frustrated with them. We parents think that they should be doing what we are doing, but you have to remember, they do not have the muscle tone to hold their urine. That is a learned thing and until he's able to do that, there WILL be accidents and lots of them. Be reassuring when he does have accidents, don't get angry and tell him that we'll try again. He needs to see the positive side of potty training and not see the negative.
9) Along the lines of accidents, he's not going to want to give up control. This is going to be a control issue and once you break his control on this, then potty training will go smoothly. Stick with it, be diligent and don't coddle him when he throws a fit. It's hard to see and go through for sure, but if you break down he knows that you are not serious - which goes back to number one - Pick a date and stick with it.
This is just a tentative guideline that I did for my son. Of course you can amend times and so forth for you and your child, but it should work the same. You can do it. Just stick with it and you'll find things will go much better.
Welcome to the board and hoping to see more of you!!