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3.5 yr old still not Trained

Forum: Potty Training


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March 28th, 2010, 12:23 AM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ~*West Coast of BC Canada*~
Posts: 4,498
My son is 3 and a half... hes not even close to being trained Ive been trying since he was 2... For a while there last summer he was peeing ALL day in the potty... no accidents.. but he REFUSES to poop in the potty, he will poop in his undies ALL day long.. little bits all day.. He's completely 100% regressed to the point where he wont even where undies and he will scream and cry for HOURS for a diaper until finally out of frustration we cave in and put one on him... Ive tried everything under the sun... I just can't believe hes guna be 4 in October and hes not potty trained.. I feel like a failure... I guess this is more of a vent than anything, because Ive probably tried everything all you ladies can think of.. I'd still like to hear your suggestions just to see if I maybe missed something... My next strategy is The sticker chart again (It really seemed to work before) and put stickers up for each pee, but Im going to try something new for pooping.. Im going to buy a big sack thing, and FILL it with dollar store toys.. Little trucks, cars, bouncy balls, etc etc.. and tell him that when he goes Poop in the potty he will get to pick a toy from the bag.. if he goes pee, he will get a sticker on his chart..
We move into a new house on Monday/Tuesday and will be starting fresh then, I've been telling him for the past week that when we move into our new house, hes going to wear only big boy undies and pee and poop on the potty... He's been saying "yeah" and acting all excited, but we'll see how that pans out.. I figure I can get him a chart, bag of toys, new undies, new potty, etc before we move in and get it all set up and ready and it will be like a fresh start... Im HOPING and PRAYING we have some progress!!!!

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March 28th, 2010, 10:49 AM
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I think at this point, just wait until you get to the new house and completely start over. What you told him about new house, means underwear, I think that is a good thing that you did. It's fresh start, and a new place and once you get settled in, I think he'll get the hang of it.

Have you tried food as a motivator? If you can find something that he's generally not allowed to have often, it will mean more to him.

Get him pee trained first, don't worry about poop just yet. The poop is a hard thing to let go for a toddler. Get him really trained pee wise, then you can do the poop training later. He'll learn to do it, and one day it will just click.

Whatever you do, never tell yourself that you are a failure. Just because he isn't trained, doesn't mean you did something wrong. He's probably one where it takes a bit to sink in and it will click.

For me personally, I can put my foot down and say, "No, you are not going to have a diaper, you're staying in underwear." My son would do that for poops as well, and it's hard to hear them protest, but I'm able to just do that. Some aren't, and that's ok. If you're able to just put your foot down and say, no, then he will eventually get the point. As it is right now, he knows you're going to cave, so he'll go as long as necessary until you do cave in. That's just my opinion though. In the end, do what you feel most comfortable with.

When he was 100% potty trained before, what was your schedule with him?
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March 28th, 2010, 11:09 AM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
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Location: ~*West Coast of BC Canada*~
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He was 100% Pee trained before... He's never been poop trained... He pooped in the potty Once when he was about 2.5 .. thats it.. He was naked trained.. I'd leave him naked and he'd pee in the potty all day.. but poop little bits ALL day.. never would go on the potty... I sat him on the potty about 30-40 mins after each meal to try for a poop.. but he just wouldnt do it..

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March 28th, 2010, 12:45 PM
MyDuckySam's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Four Corners, FL
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It's VERY common for kids to be pee trained well before poop, so on that aspect, consider him normal and not behind. Think of potty-training like riding a bike, they do it when they are ready.

We had severe bouts of constipation with Sam so pooping became a huge issue. After lots of time taking Miralax and now Benefiber, he's finally learning what the poop urge feels like. He's 4.5 yo.

He now tells his little brother "okay heh-wee, 1...2...3 push poopy out" and then grunts. It's hilarious, but we actually made a game of it.

I did a sticker chart for every day Sam went poop. He got a smiley face in pen if he went, but got a sticker if he went on the potty. When he filled his chart with all stickers, we took him to the zoo. It was a HUGE deal to him.

I know my sister had a similar problem with her youngest for a while, would only poop in a clean diaper. She finally put her foot down and said no more. He was her third and at the time she thought final baby in diapers. She wasn't buying anymore diapers. (he's 7 now and she just had a baby in January)

It sounds like he's recognizing the urge since he's asking for a diaper. IF he asks, put him directly on the potty.

I'd use the new house as your weapon of choice. Big boys wear underwear. Is there a particular movie character he likes?

I would tell Sam "don't pee on Mickey" or "Woody doesn't want you to pee on him" and he'd come home from school absolutely dry. He's been accident-free since January.

(he's 4.5 and delayed, so it took a bit longer for us.)
Andrea, Tec Me Quilts on Facebook!

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March 28th, 2010, 03:29 PM
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Andrea, good advice
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March 28th, 2010, 08:10 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ~*West Coast of BC Canada*~
Posts: 4,498
Very good points, and Im definitely going to use the new place as a weapon of choice.. The thing is, When he asks for a diaper, and I try to put him on the potty, he Screams and kicks and won't sit on it.. I try and be all happy and say things like "Oh yay!! You gota go poop! Lets go to the potty " And i''ll be all cheery and smiley.. but he still starts screaming "Nooooo no potty, I want a diaper on!!!! No potty" and screams and kicks, and refuses to sit on it. so thats when Im at a loss.. I can't force him, so I dont know what to do at that point.. thats why I end up putting one on him because I can't get him to sit on the potty when he refuses...

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