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Going to be 4 and not training!


Forum: Potty Training

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  #1  
July 9th, 2010, 09:31 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
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My son is going to be 4 in October and he will NOT poop on the potty.. He's done it twice in his whole life.. Once last fall, and once a month or 2 ago... We ask him constantly if he has to go, and try to bring him to the potty to read books, etc but he refuses, he literally refuses to sit on the potty/toilet when he knows Im trying to get him to try and go poop.. I cant force him to sit on there and go.. So I remind him "Okay Daemon, but remember, if you gota poop you go on the potty, or tell mummy and I will help you!" and 5 minutes later he poops in his underwear.. I have officially thrown out aevery pair but 1 of his underwear because Im so tired to trying to clean out **TMI WARNING** sticky caked on poop out of every pair he wears.. Im sorry, Im just so fed up... Every one says "He will when hes ready, Don't worry he wont be going to kindergarten pooping his pants, Just keep trying, etc etc etc" but At this point it DOES look like hes guna be going to kindergarten pooping his pants ( I cant even put him in Pre-school this september because they wont accept him unless he is potty trained), He SHOULD be ready, and I DO keep trying.. Its NOT working.. NOTHING works.. He took a big poop a couple months ago on the toilet and his Daddy called me and work and told me, so I brought him home a sweet new remote control truck (He asked for it for a potty present) he was SO excited and every one who came over he would tell them "I got it cuz I pooped a big poop in the potty!!" We were all so excited, even him.. But that was the only time he did it.. He just continued to poop his pants every day all day ever that.. Another thing, He wakes up SOAKED in the middle of the night/morning.. He pee's on the toilet all day very day no problem.. But still pees HUGe amounts all night.. doesnt wake up dry, EVER...I duno, Im starting to get embaressed too, when people are like.. "How old is he? Hes still not potty trained? Thats really odd" Im sorry again, I guess this is just a vent, I know this board is super slow, and Ive already tried everything humanly possible.. I guess he's jus guna be wearing diapers for the next couple years..
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  #2  
July 10th, 2010, 09:46 PM
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I'm sorry you're having so many problems but I can tell you, he will eventually stop on his own. My younger brother had poop issues. He was 8 and still pooped in his pants. My mom tried everything including (TMI) rubbing his nose in it and making him walk around smelling it. She bought him treats, new underwear, bribed him with everything she could think of. She told him if he was going to poop in his pants, he would have to wear a diaper so it would be easier to clean up. I think what finally did it was just maturity. He had "accidents" at school and the other kids would make fun of him. He's 32 now and we still joke about his "poopy days". He says he doesn't know why he did it and it grosses him out now.

You may want to talk to your ped about what's going on. They deal with kids all day long and I'm sure they've seen worse than what you are going through. Maybe he'll have some ideas. Just hang in there. Maybe it would be good to take a break from potty training for awhile too. It would at least renew your energy.
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  #3  
July 11th, 2010, 10:10 AM
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I don't know what to say, Shar was always super excited to see her poop in the potty and watch it flush away. He prolly just needs time and maybe he feels pressured to do it. I just wanted to give you hugs and say good luck. *hugs*
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  #4  
July 14th, 2010, 10:25 AM
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I would just back off for a little bit. He probaly is not ready yet and thats ok. I am working on Potty training both my boys and Jonathan is about the same age as your son and he will not poop in the potty either. He pees just fine. All kids potty train at different times. I know how frustrating it is to clean out poopy underwear. My kids get that sticky poo sometimes to. What seems to help is to rinse them out really good right away then soak them water mixed with apple cider vinegar.
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  #5  
July 21st, 2010, 05:59 PM
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sorry you are going through this. I get character underwear for Rachel and tell her that if you poop on that character it will make him/her cry. She does for the most part keep her panties clean and dry and if she has an accident she tells her panties she is sorry for peeing/pooping on whoever it is. As for the nighttime peeing my nephew it took him till he was almost 9 to go all night without peeing so it may be a while on that. Hopefully it will get better.
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  #6  
August 22nd, 2010, 06:45 PM
Meticulosity's Avatar Veteran
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This sux. How are things going with this? Any progression?
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  #7  
August 22nd, 2010, 09:34 PM
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Maybe you can try this... GREAT article on delayed potty training - Article Comments - View topic - mama to mama - Children - Potty Training : Denver Colorado Neighbors Couldn't hurt to try it.
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  #8  
August 23rd, 2010, 07:48 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Watch his habits and when you get a rythmn of when he goes during the day sit him on the potty.

Make a reward chart for everytime he goes he gets a sticker and when he reaches 5 times or so he gets that reward.

good luck
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  #9  
August 23rd, 2010, 09:08 PM
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Aimee - love it, love it, love it. Great article. It makes so much sense! I've reposted this article in my due date club and the Raising Rocco one too....(giving you credit of course for finding them)
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  #10  
August 24th, 2010, 03:42 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
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Ive read that one before, I just can't see myself locking him in the bathroom with a gate Seems cruel to me.. just seems like it would make him even more scared of the toilet than he already is...

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2Breana+Brandon View Post


Watch his habits and when you get a rythmn of when he goes during the day sit him on the potty.

Make a reward chart for everytime he goes he gets a sticker and when he reaches 5 times or so he gets that reward.

good luck
The thing is, he doesnt "go" at all.. He holds it in to the best of his ability and only gets out tiny little streak marks in his undies, all day long.. He never takes a normal poop Ive tried the reward thing too.. Ive even tried a BIKE... still wont go.. Im at a complete loss, I think my post was mostly to vent as I have tried everything in my power to get him to go and he just wont..
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  #11  
August 24th, 2010, 06:01 PM
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hi! my daughter has been holding hers in and we had such a long day today. She is 2 1/2 and is potty trained. just 2 wks ago she learned to poop in the potty. she was pooping in her diaper and would be in underwear the rest of the time. today she really had to go but was terrified to go. she was histerically crying she was so scared. we were at this since 9am. i had to threaten her that if she didnt go, i would have to put the medicine in her butt (suppository) i had to use it before. i thought that would work but didnt. long story short DH came home and we had to hold her down and put it in. it worked in seconds. she let it out. im sorry you are going thru this. what does his doc say about this?
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  #12  
August 24th, 2010, 09:31 PM
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Yes, I can see how it may seem cruel. But we do lock our kids in their room when they are bad (not meeting our expectations...seems kinda similar??). And soon other kids will probably start making him feel humiliated, which also seems kinda cruel. Hard decision...not sure what other advice to give....

Let us know what finally does the trick.
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Last edited by Meticulosity; August 24th, 2010 at 09:35 PM.
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  #13  
August 25th, 2010, 06:55 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meticulosity View Post
Yes, I can see how it may seem cruel. But we do lock our kids in their room when they are bad (not meeting our expectations...seems kinda similar??). And soon other kids will probably start making him feel humiliated, which also seems kinda cruel. Hard decision...not sure what other advice to give....

Let us know what finally does the trick.
See thats the thing, I don't lock him in his room either He has time outs in the hallway... Im ready to try it but I honestly think it will scare him even more.. He doesnt seem to get humiliated, his cousins have told him he stinks and he doesnt even care I will definitely know what finally works when it does! Thanks so much ladies!
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  #14  
August 27th, 2010, 01:11 PM
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I am sorry you're going through this =( I know that has to be so difficult!! My son will be 3 in Oct, and he still will not poop on the potty.

I started potty training in June, and pooping has been a problem since then! He has only pooped on the potty like 3 - 5 times, lol. I feel like I have tried everything!!! I have a chart with stickers, I bribe him with new toys, chuck e cheese, outings, etc. When he did poop, I made a HUGE deal out of it, and we called grandma & papa & everyone. But he still won't do it. I thought we had it b/c he did it two days in a row. But then quit.

He hides to poop so I try to catch him, but even if I do, he'll sit on the potty for a few seconds then say "I dont have to go" or flat out refuse to get on the potty even if I put him on it... I'm so frustrated =(

I don't have any tips... sorry, just wanted to let you know you're not alone! *HUGS*

Oh, I read that article, and I also doubt locking my son in the bathroom would be helpful, for him anyway. He is pretty stubborn and defiant, and I know that if I tell him he can't come out until he poops, he'll just scream and cry until I take him out... and I would feel terrible doing that to him... I get so frustrated and mad at him and I feel bad, because I don't want to make him ashamed, but I'm so tired of cleaning poopy underwear!!! I need to be more patient...
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Last edited by k1210; August 27th, 2010 at 01:14 PM.
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  #15  
August 30th, 2010, 12:09 PM
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Daimonmykailasmom - maybe you could try it without 'locking him in there'. What about doing similar to a time out. Tell him he needs to stay there until expectations are met (go on the potty). Follow the rest of the article without actually locking him in there. Tell him its a time out in the bathroom and this is what is expected of him before the time out is over.
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  #16  
September 1st, 2010, 10:55 PM
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PS. I didn't mean literally 'locked in the room'....more like just 'sent to the room
and told to stay there. I think that's what many parents do? (mine's not old enough for that yet!....but I remember my parents doing it!)
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  #17  
September 8th, 2010, 09:18 AM
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Idk what to do anymore =( I know telling him he can't come out until he goes will just result in a HUGE meltdown....

Do I just continue letting him poop in his underwear????? I try to catch him and put him on the potty, but it's like a wrestling match!!! It's ridiculous...
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  #18  
September 9th, 2010, 09:53 PM
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My vote would be to allow for the huge meltdown. Sounds funny, but do you watch Suppernanny? The meltdowns always get shorter and shorter once they accept they are just going to need to do as they are told and do what is expected of them. I know potty training is a more 'sensitive' area to most parents....but really why is it any different than any other expectation we put on them?

At this age, they KNOW how to do it. They are just choosing not to because they want to 'control' the situation. If they were acting out in any other way (ie. refusing to stop playing a video game), then there would be certain consequences and certain expectations. No, you can't make them feel bad....but I think they can be shown that they need to meet expectations.

Just my opinion.
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  #19  
September 24th, 2010, 08:23 PM
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Oh goodness. I feel for you ladies. I'm also starting to get real nervous about my son! I want to start potty training him at 17/18 months, but after reading this, I'm extremely nervous he's going to have issues going potty in the chair. I never really thought about it too much. Just knew it would be difficult, but not THAT difficult! I'm going to start looking online for some good potty training methods.
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  #20  
October 1st, 2010, 09:31 AM
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The earlier you start the less resistance you will normally get....so start today!
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