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Have you ever heard of forced toilet training? What do you think of it?


Forum: Potty Training

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  #1  
August 6th, 2010, 01:32 PM
sweets's Avatar Super Mommy
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Last night my husband told me that his brother and SIL have friends who are "force toilet training" their two year old.

Apparently in this method the parents take all diapers away and teach the baby to use the toilet. However, when the baby has an "accident" in his clothes, the parents let the baby be wet/dirty as a form of teaching the baby he/she should have gone in the potty. It seems to me that the parents are using embarrassment and humiliation in order to teach the baby his lesson.

From what I have briefly read, this is different from the 3 day potty training because in that one the child does not wear clothes on the bottom and parents are not doing it to "punish" the child.

I am a far way from toilet training my baby, but I'm wondering what you ladies think of this. Is it a crazy/mean idea? Or is that what toilet training comes down to?
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  #2  
August 6th, 2010, 01:39 PM
challowell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I never heard of this method but I don't like the way it sounds. Rachel does not wear pullups during the day but I let her make that decision. This sounds like humiliation based training.
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  #3  
August 6th, 2010, 02:22 PM
sweets's Avatar Super Mommy
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That was the impression I got. My husband said that the parents basically embarrass the child by letting them be wet and poopy hoping that next time they'll use the potty.
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  #4  
August 6th, 2010, 03:58 PM
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Sorry I don't like this idea. If the child is not ready it will scare them away completely. When I was potty training my son, if he wet his pants he didn't have a problem walking around in wet shorts. So this doesn't work for all kids. And for the pooping, he would ask for a diaper, if we said no, he simply held it in, around day 4 or 5 he got super cranky, cried, said his tummy hurt, was not in a good mood, couldn't sleep, we just couldn't bear it anymore and gave him a diaper.

When the child is ready the child will ask or even go themselves in the potty IMO. (now that I've experienced it) I don't think it's right to force them.

Let them be a child while they still can be...they grow up so fast. My son has only just turned 4 and I don't know where the time went, wishing I could have slowed things down a little and stop focusing on the "next milestone".

Anyways, that's just my opinion.
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  #5  
August 8th, 2010, 12:27 AM
Minilegs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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no way! I did naked training with my daughter when she showed signs of being ready and it worked like a charm. You don't have to strong arm a kid into training. If they are taking a long time to get it or resisting it then try a different approach. Don't scare and humiliate
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  #6  
September 18th, 2010, 09:17 PM
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I agree. My son is 17 months and I sooooo badly want to potty train him. Especially since I am 21 weeks pregnant, it would be nice to not have 2 in diapers. However, I don't think mentally and physically he'll be ready by then. I definitely think it's good to wait. However, if anyone has any "good" methods they have used, please pass them along!
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  #7  
September 18th, 2010, 11:53 PM
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I definitely don't think you should humiliate and make the child feel ashamed. However, my son refuses to poop in the potty, and I just started to try not changing him right away.

It's been about 5 months, and he poops in his undies like 3x a day, lol!!! It's so frustrating and mentally exhausting!!!!

So, a couple weeks ago, I decided when he pooped his pants, I wouldn't change him right away. When he poops in his undies, he won't even move, lol!! He asks me to carry him to the bathroom (b/c we go to the bathroom to put the poop in the toilet and wipe him). If I don't carry him, he slowly inches his way to the bathroom. He doesn't like it, so I thought hmmm maybe if he sees how uncomfortable it is, he'll want to use the potty!

Well, it hasn't exactly made him more motivated to poop on the potty. =( soooooooo idk. I don't think making him sit with poop in his pants for 5 minutes is cruel. But I also don't ridicule him or punish him for it. I guess it all depends on exactly HOW they're going about using this method.....
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  #8  
September 19th, 2010, 09:48 AM
Meticulosity's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adias9684 View Post
I agree. My son is 17 months and I sooooo badly want to potty train him. Especially since I am 21 weeks pregnant, it would be nice to not have 2 in diapers. However, I don't think mentally and physically he'll be ready by then. I definitely think it's good to wait. However, if anyone has any "good" methods they have used, please pass them along!

You can definitely start potty training at 17 months. Our grandparents kids were on average done potty training by 18 months. If you know any grandparents, ask them about their potty training experiences. I'm sure they'd love to tell you.

Check out this article:

Matt Metzgar: The Great Diaper Scam
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  #9  
September 20th, 2010, 11:52 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweets View Post
It seems to me that the parents are using embarrassment and humiliation in order to teach the baby his lesson.
^^ Exactly that. That's not how it works. Now, when you think your kids are ready but they're just as happy to stay in diapers, sometimes you need to persuade them a little that they're too big now for that. But not like that.
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  #10  
September 24th, 2010, 09:16 PM
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[QUOTE=Meticulosity;21564809]You can definitely start potty training at 17 months. Our grandparents kids were on average done potty training by 18 months. If you know any grandparents, ask them about their potty training experiences. I'm sure they'd love to tell you.

Wow! Thanks so much! I was just speaking with a lady today who said her daughter was potty trained by 1 year!!! And then her 2 sons were potty trained by 17/18 months! I am starting to think that maybe my son will be ready very soon! :-)
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  #11  
October 18th, 2010, 12:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adias9684 View Post

Wow! Thanks so much! I was just speaking with a lady today who said her daughter was potty trained by 1 year!!! And then her 2 sons were potty trained by 17/18 months! I am starting to think that maybe my son will be ready very soon! :-)
My girl was pretty much daytime potty learned by 18 months. What I did was not to wait for any signs of readyness but to just start her on the potty. I did it gently, if she didnt go then no problem, if she went great. I put her on the potty every time she woke up, after every meal and at any other diaper change.

As a side note, I found one of those potty readyness quiz shortly after she had switched to undies. She really flunked the quiz. She wasnt even verbal when she started asking for the potty, I just taught her to sign for it.
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  #12  
November 10th, 2010, 03:40 PM
AndyBee's Avatar Super Mommy
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Depending on how long they leave the child wet, it could be border line child abuse/negligence. What if the child developes a horrible diaper rash or skin break down? Ugh this idea seems so cruel.
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  #13  
November 12th, 2010, 11:33 AM
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I don't agree with that. I started the potty training process with Sharlotte at 8 months. And by the time she was 12 months she was going on the potty 4 to 5 times a day. I had her completely day and night trained by 15 months. However when her dad and I split up he wasn't as diligent with it as I was. So, she regressed or gave up, not sure which. She didn't start back up til she was 2 1/2, she goes most nights without accidents and has maybe 1 or 2 accidents a week.
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  #14  
November 16th, 2010, 07:55 PM
Trish36's Avatar Mom of 4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k1210 View Post
I definitely don't think you should humiliate and make the child feel ashamed. However, my son refuses to poop in the potty, and I just started to try not changing him right away.

It's been about 5 months, and he poops in his undies like 3x a day, lol!!! It's so frustrating and mentally exhausting!!!!

So, a couple weeks ago, I decided when he pooped his pants, I wouldn't change him right away. When he poops in his undies, he won't even move, lol!! He asks me to carry him to the bathroom (b/c we go to the bathroom to put the poop in the toilet and wipe him). If I don't carry him, he slowly inches his way to the bathroom. He doesn't like it, so I thought hmmm maybe if he sees how uncomfortable it is, he'll want to use the potty!

Well, it hasn't exactly made him more motivated to poop on the potty. =( soooooooo idk. I don't think making him sit with poop in his pants for 5 minutes is cruel. But I also don't ridicule him or punish him for it. I guess it all depends on exactly HOW they're going about using this method.....
I wish my DD would be uncomfortable when she poops in her undies. Sometimes I don't know she's done it until I smell it.
It is soooo frustrating having to do laundry every day because she refuses to poop in the toilet. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
I wouldn't even think about leaving her in soiled underwear or diaper for long. Some days she won't even let me wipe her because her poor bum gets all red and sore. I can't even imagine how painful it would be if she sat in that for more than 5 minutes.
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