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I'm so frustrated -- I really don't know what to do. We are on day 11 of potty training and #1 is going really well. For the most part, they ask for a pull-up when they have to go #2. I'm ok with this because it was turning into a battle on day 1 where they didn't even want to pee b/c they were terrified of #2. Well, today, of my girls "accidentally" pooped in the potty. We gave lots of praise and cheers when she pooped on the potty, and she seemed so proud of herself. However, she asked for a pull-up right after and then had diarrhea twice and now has a bit of a rash even though we changed her immediately. She refuses to go near the potty to pee or anything now. She cried and cried because she had to pee and I could tell it hurt her to keep holding it. I put her in a diaper and told her it was ok for her to pee in it. She cried and cried and still would not pee. I even tried tickling her to make her pee. Finally, after almost 2 hours, she was crying and crying in the bathroom (would not get in the tub for her bath) and she peed all over the floor. She was SO upset. I am so afraid she is traumatized and all of the work we have done is down the tubes. I have no idea what to do. What if she wakes up this morning and still refuses to pee on the potty? I have heard that pushing isn't the right thing to do when PTing. Do we just go back to diapers until she is ready again on her own??
Mom to identical twin girls born 6/2/08
I was just lurking around and saw that nobody responded yet so I thought I'd give my 2 cents...
First of all, that is a hard one! I'm sorry your poor lil girl was having such a rough time.
What I would do is first make sure there is no UTI issue which is causing the sudden aversion to peeing. The sudden aversion seems a little strange, but then again, kids are strange sometimes!
If UTI is out of the question, make sure they are really ready for potty training. I have potty trained 3 kids and although I'm not the potty expert, I have developed some "criteria" regarding when I believe kids are ready. Here it goes:
They have to be able to say "pee pee" and "poop" (or whatever the words are you use) reliably. They may mix up "pee" and "poop" but they should know when they have to do something, even if it is right beforehand.
They should be able to hold their pee for at least an hour and a half. Sometimes they are totally ready, but physically have to pee every half hour. My daughter was like that and I just waited until she was naturally holding her pee for longer stretches. Otherwise, it's a nightmare to have to get them to the potty every half hour.
Make sure they are physically able to easily get on the potty that you are using (I love the simple all-in-one potties that you just pick up and dump.) Lids, fake flushers, music, and all that are for the birds, IMO. ) They just complicate things.
Next, I would try to make peeing on the potty as pleasant as possible. Perhaps you could buy them some new pretty "big girl undies" (like the gerber fortified crotch ones, and use a plastic barrier overtop if u have to). Make it an exciting "present" and point out that they don't need diapers anymore because now they are "big girls!"
Personally, I think the pull up stage should be skipped totally b/c I think they are glorified diapers and a lot of times kids figure that out and/or get confused.
During potty training I only use pull-ups for naps & nighttime when it's very likely (and OK) for them to pee in them (since they're sleeping).
hm, I think that's it.
So what I would say is if you are sure there is no UTI issue, and you are sure they are ready to be potty trained, then try the undie thing, try having them sit on the potty during a movie or favorite TV show... I often have them sit on the potty every hour (or however long u think is safe) and I tell them just "time to see if you have to go pee." If they don't want to, I insist that we just "see" if they have any pee. Eventually they seem to develop a reflex that when they sit on the potty, they will pee (rather than waiting until the "UH OH, better beat feet to the potty NOW" which can create a lot of accidents).
If they resist all of this and just seem to be having an emotional meltdown (as opposed to just refusing to do what you want them to do, or having a fit), then I would do as you said and put them back in diapers for at least 2 weeks and totally drop it and try to introduce it again gently all over again later.
Good luck! Hope that wasn't way more than you bargained for!!
Mom to Titus (10), Isaiah (8), Noelle (6), Joel (4), Hannah (2), and baby due Sept 10!
It may be due to the rash from the diarrhea. If Rachel gets a rash you can forget her going to the potty because she says her pee makes it hurt. Actually the best thing for the rash is Air so leaing them in undies is better. As for the poop, It does take longer to poop but they will get it. I leave Rachel in undies all day. She did poop a few times in her undies but I told her if she felt like she had to go we will go potty alone. She will only go poop in potty if she can go in by herself and use the little potty. Try to see if they just want to be alone to poop.
I agree that you should make sure she doesn't have a UTI. I also have a 3 year old who is totally trained with peeing in the toilet, but refuses to do #2 (she's my 3rd and I did not have any issues potty training my older 2).
Isabelle has been on a stool softener for over a year now, because she refuses to push poop out. She would rather hold it for days than actually make the effort. That also caused her to have UTIs in the past. Her pediatrician put her on the stool softener to make sure that she isn't too traumatized and just learns to poo. Hasn't worked so far. I've had her in undies for months and stopped counting how much laundry I was doing from all her 'accidents'. I had to put her back in pull ups. She does get a red bum sometimes because her bm is softer and it does burn her when she pees. So what I do is put zinc cream on her bum to give her that barrier and time for her bum to heal up. You could try that.
Other than that I wish I could help, but I guess it just takes time. I keep telling myself that this won't last forever. Eventually they have to figure it out.
Personally, if I were you I would probably pull back on the PT for a week or so. If your other girl is still going fine, then I would keep it up with her, and that might help her sister see that it's ok even if she did have a bad experience before.
__________________ Joanna wife, mother, blogger, support group leader, perpetually behind on laundry