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Okay, so my son is about 3 1/2 years old. He has been potty trained for several months. He hasn't had a pee accident in a long time, with the exception of sometimes wetting the bed if we give him a drink too close to bed time. He's got the whole thing down, he tells us when he needs to go potty, or he will just take himself.
Currently my husband and I both work varying schedules, so my mom is watching him while we are at work. Occasionally he spends the night at her house if we are working overnight. He has gone on several week long road trips with her in the past as well. No problems with his potty training in any of those cases. However, when he comes home to us after spending the night at her house, he will poop his pants two or three times, every single time. He doesn't have this problem when he goes over there, and after a couple of days he goes back to being completely potty trained, but for those two days or so he will indiscriminately poop his pants without so much as an effort to go to the bathroom. (But he still pees in the toilet like normal.)
I just don't get it. It is driving us insane because this is the only time he has this problem, and it happens every time without fail, but only if he is away overnight. If he is only over there during the day, he doesn't have issues when he gets home.
When we ask him why he pooped in his pants, he has given us various answers including that he "just wanted to take a shower" or that he was too busy playing. He has had his toys taken away, and lost his privilege to watch Thomas cartoons. He cleans out his dirty underwear on his own, and he doesn't like it because he says it's gross (duh!), but he will still do it over and over for a couple days, and then after that he is back to normal.
We try to give him rewards when he does go to the potty, like giving one of his toys back, or getting a treat, and it will work one time, and then he will poop his pants again until the magical 2 day time frame is over.
I just feel like I'm missing something, and I desperately wish the solution was as simple as never having to work overnight, but that just isn't going to happen right now.