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well for us, its all on us. Nichole cannot reach the sink (even with a stool) So she definately cannot reach the water. I have to hold her up so she can do it. Then she can get the soap (kinda, I have to push it) thenshe rubs lol.
I sit him on the counter by the sink. Washing his hands is part of the reward for him because he likes water (he doesn't realize that we would do it anyway!). He can turn on the water himself but I do it sometimes. I have to watch to make sure he doesn't push it to hot. I squirt the soap and rub and rinse. Then I let him play a little bit (the reward part) and then I turn it off and hand him the hand towel and he dries himself.