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Not 100% sure who the father is. SCARED, PLEASE HELP, WHAT DO I DO?!


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  • 2 Post By Missa_Mae

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  #1  
October 25th, 2012, 02:45 PM
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Hi everybody, I am new to this (or any) forum. Please help me as I cannot discuss this with anybody. I am married and we wanted to have a baby, so we were trying and now I am pregnant. The problem is that I also had sex with another man on two occasions (I know it's wrong, but please help me!), so now I cannot be 100% sure who the father of the baby is. First day of my last period was September 16th. I had sex with my husband on 27th and 30th of September, trying to make a baby. I had sex with the other man on 26th September and 3d October, but with withdrawal. What do I do now? How likely do you think the baby is not from my husband? I don't know if I should do an abortion for this reason. I am scared! I don't want to do an abortion! And I am concerned about not being able to get pregnant again, considering that I am 36, even though in the past (including this time), I got pregnant within a few month of actual "trying" (I have 2 kids). Should I keep the baby because it's from my husband or should I just do it and then "start new", where there would not be any doubts and never end up in a situation like this again?
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  #2  
October 27th, 2012, 06:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lmip View Post
Hi everybody, I am new to this (or any) forum. Please help me as I cannot discuss this with anybody. I am married and we wanted to have a baby, so we were trying and now I am pregnant. The problem is that I also had sex with another man on two occasions (I know it's wrong, but please help me!), so now I cannot be 100% sure who the father of the baby is. First day of my last period was September 16th. I had sex with my husband on 27th and 30th of September, trying to make a baby. I had sex with the other man on 26th September and 3d October, but with withdrawal. What do I do now? How likely do you think the baby is not from my husband? I don't know if I should do an abortion for this reason. I am scared! I don't want to do an abortion! And I am concerned about not being able to get pregnant again, considering that I am 36, even though in the past (including this time), I got pregnant within a few month of actual "trying" (I have 2 kids). Should I keep the baby because it's from my husband or should I just do it and then "start new", where there would not be any doubts and never end up in a situation like this again?
Abortion is not an option even if it is not your husband's baby. Though I am not 100% sure, I think it's your husband's. Counting from the 1st day of your last period, the fertile day will be 29th or 30th. However, the sperm can wait up to 72 hours inside you for your egg cell to come out/ovulate. Therefore, if your husband had sex with you 3 days before 29th without withdrawal, it will probably make you preg. And although withdrawal is not a safe contraceptive method, it may also make you preg. However, I'm keeping my hopes high with you that the baby is your husband's. Whoever the dad is, don't stress out..at least for your little one.

Last edited by SJane; October 27th, 2012 at 06:09 AM.
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  #3  
October 27th, 2012, 06:10 AM
Missa_Mae's Avatar First Time Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2012
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Abortion IS an option if you choose to do so ...

However, it doesn't seem like you want to terminate. There could be 100 of us posting that we think it's your husband but you would never know for sure until a paternity test is done. Maybe come clean to your husband? I know it's tough but it's the only way you'll know for sure ...

Good Luck.
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  #4  
October 30th, 2012, 09:44 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think it is more likely it is your husbands.. but I obviously can't say for sure. Withdrawal method isn't very good, but if your husband wasn't withdrawing.. it is probably more likely it is his... I guess you can't really know for sure until after the baby is born.

I guess I just wanted to input that I have no idea who my real dad is... my mom had an affair, I am not my father's biological daughter.. but it is more about who is there and less about who's genetics it is! My father is my father, even if it wasn't his sperm. Without a doubt.

Keep your head up and it will all work out! Everyone makes mistakes, I have every faith that you and that sweet baby are doing to do just fine Good luck!
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