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16-month-old hitting/shoving other kids


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  #1  
December 5th, 2008, 10:51 AM
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My daughter is big for her age and very assertive, and for the last few weeks, when we are around other kids in public, she will run up to them, screach and shove. When we are on playdates or in the mall playground,she will occasionally shove any child her age or smaller. When she does this, I pick her up, move off to the side, and hold her for a few minutes, but she tends togo back quickly to the same behavior. Any ideas on how to stop this? I really don't want her acting like a little bully
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  #2  
December 8th, 2008, 06:05 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't know what your views on discipline are, and I'm not trying to advise you about that, lol , but she needs to be disciplined for this action. It needs to be made very clear to her that this is not acceptable, and will not be tolerated. Just taking her aside and holding her isn't going to stop the behavior. It's totally up to you how to discipline your child, obviously, but make sure she knows you're not pleased and will not allow her to act like that.
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  #3  
December 9th, 2008, 09:43 PM
melissa_aka_mom
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I saw this as I was scrolling through the board. my oldest girl went through that stage when she was 16 months old and I can tell you it really is just a phase and it doesn't mean that she's going to be a bully!! my daughter was once kicked out of nursery because she took down one of the other toddlers (she was 18 months), well the official nursery leader apologized profusely later on telling me that it is absolutely normal behavior for little ones at this age. some ideas on how to help her is I found I needed to be next to her and show her how to play nicely. so that meant at playdates I couldn't sit with the other moms but needed to take a more hands on approach. you can help her in a gentle manner and it is VERY GOOD that you are sitting her on your lap but take that a step further and talk to her saying "hitting hurts, lets use kind touches" your example and showing her how to play will work better than any punitive discipline measure. I know from experience as I didn't want to be a mom with a bully either!! it's going to take time and lots of encouragement but if it helps you feel any better, these little ones, they really don't know what they are doing and are not trying to be mean. they just need positive guidance! oh and my daughter who was kicked out of nursery that day, when she was 2 1/2 in that same nursery class the boy she had wrestled at 18 months ran up to her and pushed her down and she didn't even react to him she merely dusted herself off and went back to playing. what a difference a year made!
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  #4  
December 17th, 2008, 11:03 AM
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we had to use time out a lot when it came to this with my LO
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  #5  
December 26th, 2008, 06:18 AM
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Sorry I'm responding to this so late. Taking her aside definitely isn't enough. One thing I can recommend is flat out leaving. Let her know that the behavior is completely unacceptable and have a zero tolerance policy. If she gets rough with the other kids then she's done playing. Otherwise she's just sitting on mommy's lap for a minute and then going back to the same old behavior. Both of mine went through this phase and it does pass, you just have to put your foot down and keep it down while they're going through it. I hope that you've had some success in calming her down and teaching her to play better with others.
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  #6  
December 28th, 2008, 11:05 PM
mommaluvs2730's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I saw this as I was scrolling through the board. my oldest girl went through that stage when she was 16 months old and I can tell you it really is just a phase and it doesn't mean that she's going to be a bully!! my daughter was once kicked out of nursery because she took down one of the other toddlers (she was 18 months), well the official nursery leader apologized profusely later on telling me that it is absolutely normal behavior for little ones at this age. some ideas on how to help her is I found I needed to be next to her and show her how to play nicely. so that meant at playdates I couldn't sit with the other moms but needed to take a more hands on approach. you can help her in a gentle manner and it is VERY GOOD that you are sitting her on your lap but take that a step further and talk to her saying "hitting hurts, lets use kind touches" your example and showing her how to play will work better than any punitive discipline measure. I know from experience as I didn't want to be a mom with a bully either!! it's going to take time and lots of encouragement but if it helps you feel any better, these little ones, they really don't know what they are doing and are not trying to be mean. they just need positive guidance! oh and my daughter who was kicked out of nursery that day, when she was 2 1/2 in that same nursery class the boy she had wrestled at 18 months ran up to her and pushed her down and she didn't even react to him she merely dusted herself off and went back to playing. what a difference a year made![/b]
This pretty much sums up what I was going to say LOL
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