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ok so Matthew is 13months old, I take him to see his father about twice a month, there isn't really any "bad blood" between us or anything, I always stay there with him for the weekend and he has never been "alone" without me except for when I was in the hospital the week my kidneys failed, but even then Thomas (s/o) brought him to see me. Well Matthew's father sent me a message today asking if he could take him for a few days starting when I get out of the hospital with Maddox. I said no right away, to which he got frustrated with... I understand that he was kinda trying to be nice and help out a little but he lives 2.5hrs away and with him never having taken Matthew before I don't want Matthew thinking that baby is taking his space and now he has to leave... I just don't think that is the time to start taking him for a few days... I don't mind any other time, although I will miss him I still want him to spend time with his dad just not with such a big adjustment time then...
He just doesn't understand what i'm saying, so now I'm wondering if I'm justified in my thinking or if I'm just being over hormonal
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Mommy to Destiny, Jaiden, Lilyan, Matthew and Maddox..Wttc in 2012!!
I also think your reasons are justified, he should be included in the new baby stuff so that he feels a part of everything, I think that makes a lot of sense! I would just try to explain your reasons and tell him he can take him another time once you are all settled in with the new baby!
ya I explained it he just doesn't get it, he thinks i'm just taking his trying to be nice and help the wrong way.. I said thank you I understand what you are trying to do, but ...and then explained the reasons...lol...
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Mommy to Destiny, Jaiden, Lilyan, Matthew and Maddox..Wttc in 2012!!
Your reason sounds logical to me-- why not suggest to his dad that he wait a couple of weeks after and THEN take Matthew for a few days, so the really big adjustment is already done?
Is it possibly to introduce a sleepover BEFORE the baby gets here so your 13month old kinda knows what to expect with only Daddy and no Mommy around?
BTW, I don't think you over-reacted. You have your reasons and you let him know that, but you just got to go about introducing the sleepover thing in a different way and setting.
Is it possible he start taking Matthew for a couple days every couple of weeks starting now? That way when the new baby does get here, Matthew will be somewhat adjusted to it.
I could see where he would be upset, but I don't think he totally gets it. I think you are definitly in the right and I completely understand where he is coming from. Maybe he can come and pick him up and take it out for the day around your area? Maybe take him to the zoo or something fun where he can bond with his dad, but still get you time so he doesn't feel like he is being 'replaced'? Just a suggestion. I hope it all works out!! {{HUGS}}
I think you have a good point. I feel that he needs to spend time with his son, but the timing he chose probably isn't the best time. Maybe he will agree to another time or to work into a full night slowly. At 13mo, as you know, little ones can get very confused and upset when their routine is shaken.
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Sharon - Mom to Theresa, Harvey,& Sarah
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