I thought the same thing, Myra. It just seems to black and white for me. Like you, there are some thing that are up for negotiation, some things I overlook because it makes my life easier and some things that are definitely not gonna happen.
In having a teenager now, I am hearing that I am the "cool" mom about some things that other moms are more strict about, while at the same time I am the "strict" mom about other things. And that is a-ok with me.