Information on pregnancy loss, grief, coping, ttcal & more.
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I don't usually write on boards, but love to read them. But I had to post today...Today is proving to be a very hard day as I start looking at Mothers Day. I'm two days out and it already feels overwhelming. My husband and I have been trying for 4 1/2 years, and we just had our 4th miscarriage over last weekend. A little background: I have PCOS, endometriosis and fibroid tumors. 3 months ago I had laproscopic surgery to remove Stage 1 endometriosis. We've been working with this second RE for almost a year now and they've told me I'm two cycles away from IVF. We have done 7 IUI's now. The progesterone on the last pregnancy at 12 days post IUI was .5 so I feel like this was part of the issue. I also went to my nutritionist and they did a muscle response test on me (highly recommend this for TTC ladies) and they found high amounts of arsenic and mercury concentrated in my uterus. So this too was probably a catalyst.
Something I did that I have never done before that I believe gave us success was a vagi steam. I did this 2 days before my IUI and I believe it helped the environment to be neutralized and ready to receive a baby. I talked to my nutritionist about this and she recommended I do it again because it has excellent circulation benefit. It also helps to kill bacteria, yeast and increases blood flow to your uterus.
I'm just having the weirdest day going from 10 minutes of positive thinking and motivation, to the next ten minutes weeping and feeling hopeless and angry. Especially when I think about Mothers day coming up and the fact that I will be bleeding out a miscarried baby on that day. It's almost unbearable. If anyone has any encouragement, I could really use some right now. Especially success stories, that seems to be the only thing that lifts my spirits right now.
Trusting God, but really hard to be joyful right now.
Last edited by Maybemomma; May 10th, 2013 at 08:33 AM.
I am so incredibly sorry for your losses! I do want to tell you that you may want to repost this on the main 'trying to conceive after loss' board since there's more traffic there, so you could get more responses! I can understand how difficult this weekend must be for you. I had a missed miscarriage a few months ago and had to have a D&C done on my Birthday...one of the worst days of my life. I found comfort from my faith, my family and friends and the ladies on this board. A lot of the ladies on the 'trying to conceive after loss' have had multiple losses and they are a great group of ladies who support each other through the positives and negatives of ttc.
Please feel free to post anytime! Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts during this time!!!