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undecided about children, need guidance from moms


Forum: Done Having Children

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  #1  
June 21st, 2012, 07:21 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1
Hi- I'm new here. I wanted to find women who already have children for some guidance. I'm 32 years old, have never wanted kids. I'm with a man for 2.5 years now I love dearly and have a great relationship with, who's 36. He has always wanted kids. We've talked about it many times, and even though at times I think maybe I would want kids, mostly I'm not sure. When I'm with him I can picture it and see how it can be rewarding. When I'm not with him and I stay true to myself, I still don't really want any- the responsibility, the life changes, I just don't know why I would want all that. He knows he wants kids, but he hasn't said why, mainly that "it would be so cool". I'm afraid I would regret it if I don't, or that I would regret it if I do. I also think he and I need to figure it out soon and not drag our relationship on. So here's the question, and I would much appreciate an honest answer. I know no one would ever regret the existence of their children, so please don't be offended- I'm only asking about the decision to have children.

For the mommies who had always wanted kids, and you now have them... do you ever regret making the decision to have children? If you were to do it over, would you choose the same? Why or why not?

For the mommies who didn't always want kids, but now you have them, perhaps unplanned, or perhaps because your spouse wanted them... do you ever regret making the decision to have the child? If you were to do it over, would you choose the same? Why or why not?

Thank you so much... your insight is much appreciated.
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  #2  
June 22nd, 2012, 04:02 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 310
I never for one moment regret having my kids. The regret I do have, is that I didn't wait til I was out of school to do it.

If I could do it over I would definitely have waited until I was in my 20s, married & financially stable/secure, but that being said I love my children with everything I have.

If you are feeling this way, I feel you and your guy need to have this conversation...soon. Don't compromise your beliefs or feelings to make someone else happy. You need to be happy...all around. It's a very big decision, and not always the easiest. I wish you luck!
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Brianne & Christopher
Married since July 2002


Together we have 4 beautiful children:
Treyden (Dec/97), Emily (Jun/00), Christina (Oct/03) & Hilarie (Dec/04)

Together we are raising 7 of my nieces & nephews:
Kristina (Feb/96), Leah (Jan/98), Austin (Apr/00), Dylan (Feb/02), Mya (Feb/02), Landon (Apr/03) & Melanie (May/08)

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  #3  
June 25th, 2012, 05:08 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110


My life's not perfect and not like I imagined it would be but I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't even wait till I was older to have my kids. I think if I had waited they wouldn't be the kids that they are if that makes sense.
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  #4  
June 26th, 2012, 04:16 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sitka
Posts: 8,182
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I wanted kids but was going to wait and my oldest was a big surprise it is a huge lifestyle change and things got put on hold finishing school (go my Aa and was going to get my Ba) and home ownership we were looking when we found out I was pregnant but I have zero regrets I love my girls andwould do it again
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