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Can't agree on if we are done

Forum: Done Having Children


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August 15th, 2012, 08:18 AM
TerriLF's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 566
My husband and I have 2 kids (3 yr old boy 1.5 yr old girl) and I still want one more. I have always wanted 3 kids and still feel like our family isn't complete. My husband says he doesn't want any more. I tried to push the subject the other day and told him if he is so set against having another child he needs to get a vasectomy. He said no. Whenever the subject gets brought up (by friends and family asking if we are done) he always says he is done and everyone knows I want one more. Well I told him we really needed to sit down and talk because even though I want to wait another year or so, we need to resolve this difference between us because its all I can think about and things like this cause big problems in a marriage. He said it isn't going to be a big problem he just isn't sure he wants another child ( I still see that is a big problem if neither of us wants to move on our view). I don't know what to do...I need all the help advice support I can get from you all..Have any of you had similar situations and what ended up happening.

I feel like since he isn't willing to get a vasectomy, that maybe deep down he does want another child, but that he isn't ready now especially since ours are very needy and fight all the time now..lol..
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August 21st, 2012, 12:59 PM
mom2brittnchris's Avatar TTC#3
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Eastern North Carolina
Posts: 234
Me and DH went thru this too. I wanted to try for another when our youngest was 1 (we had a 3 year old also) but DH wasn't having it. He was pretty sure he didn't want anymore. I eventually decided I didn't want any either but here we are 11 years later TTC. My husband wants another one so bad!!!! I think that he needed a break from having two so young and close together and now that they are bigger he really does miss having a little one in the hse

With your husband not wanting to have a vasectomy he could not be completely sure that he doesn't want another one but maybe doesn't want to have another one right now. I would give it time and maybe discuss readdressing the thought of having another kid a year or so down the road and see where you both stand then.

Good luck!
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December 9th, 2013, 06:28 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
Posts: 21,341
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Going through this to only its my DH that wants more kids but I am done. It is hard! Best of luck to you guys.
Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
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January 16th, 2014, 12:43 PM
ProudMommy2014's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 85
I want another child but my DH does not. We always agreed on 3, although I wanted 4, but I thought we would have three.... nope, only have two and I cant get my DH to budge on this. He is done and does not want a third. SO I am having to accept it I guess.
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April 15th, 2014, 12:41 PM
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 17
My hubby wants another and I do not. He doesn't push the issue though. With both of us working its simply too much for me to handle a 3rd in addition to our 2 we have now. Communicating why you want more and him communicating why he doesn't should definitely happen sooner rather than later.
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April 19th, 2014, 01:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,786
DH talked about only having two, now we have four. I think just let the topic drop for no especially if you're not ready just yet. His mind may change or your mind may change.

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October 3rd, 2014, 09:32 AM
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 6
I am glad that both of us agreed that we are already done. Cause even if he still wants more, he can't do anything to convince me.
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