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I'm pregnant with #4 and i'm almost 100% positive I do not want anymore kids after this baby is born in December. I'm thinking of having a tubal. DH doesn't sound like he want sto have a V done, I could probably get him to, but I know I don't want anymore so if he doesn't want it done then I'll have my tubes tied. I thin he's scared of having the V done, and I'm not scared to have my tubes tied, so i'm willing to do it. We both are sue we're done after 4 kids. My question is mostly about the tubal. For one, can you do it while in the hospital after the birth on the baby? How long does the procedure take? How do they do it? Does it hurt afterwards? What are the side effects, and are they short-term? Also, have any of you had a tubal and then later on been sorry you did it? If so, why?
Thanks to anyone who takes time to answer all my questions!!!
Yeah, I'm sort of in the same boat. DH is leery about the big V. His main thing is that although we DO NOT want any more kids, he's thinking that if ANYTHING happened, like something tragic with our kids, and years down the road we wanted to even attempt to have another, TL is a little easier to reverse. I realize that you can't think about reversal at all, though, you have to assume it's permanent regardless of what you do because the chances are super slim for either to reverse.
But I can't stop thinking about post tubal ligation syndrome.
But I am SO fed up with using the diaphragm, and there aren't any other options for us. NFP, yeah right! DH hates abstaining even for AF, so that would just kill him. And all other BC options are no good for us for one reason or another. And I'd be terrified of the possibility of accidentally having another baby - couldn't mentally handle another, so I'm not sure I want to stay with the diaphragm.
Sigh...I just wish it were a lot easier. Maybe DH will eventually change his mind.
I had my tubes tied in December after having my 3rd child. I contemplated the decision my whole entire pregnancy. I actually decided the day of my c/s when the nurse came in to do my lab work and was asking me the normal questions. When my DR came in to council me (standard procedure) on the decision she said to me...now if we tie your tubes and god forbid something bad happen to one of your children do you think that you would want to have another child to replace the child you lost. My thoughts are another child would never replace a child that I have lost. Sure, another baby may fill that void but never replace a child. That helped me make my decision in some weird way.
My husband and I originally talked about only having 2 kids then after my 2nd daughter was born and turned 1 I realized something was missing so he agreed to one more child and he said that was final and he was done!! My husband offered to get a V. I was actually going to let him do it but then I decided since I was already going to be cut wide open and they were already in there that I might as well get it done. Yeah, there are times I sit and think especially while holding the baby that I say to myself, well, this will be the last time I will experience this or when I am going through clothes that don't fit or getting rid of baby things I will no longer need. It is definitely weird not having to store baby stuff anymore. I am so use to it. I have caught myself just putting stuff in the closet. I told myself and my husband agreed that if we are older and we decide that we do want another child there is always adoption. There are so many children out there who need a home.
I have had no side affects to the tubal and no extra pain from it. It is a decision I made bcz I get pregnant so easily. B/c just would not have worked for me. I forget way to easily. Shoot, I am the type who has to set the timer on the stove or I foget I have something on there. LOL
My suggestion is search deep into yourself to find the answer if this is something you truly want to do. It is a permanent thing and really only you can decide what you want to do.
Married to the love of my life since February 6th, 1999.
Thanks everyone. as fun as it is to have babies, and believe me I LOVE it, I just can't see myself having to raise 5 kids! 5 is A LOT of kids, hec 4 is a lot and i'm going to have to raise them as it is! I love my kids to death, if anything ever happened to one of them another child would NEVER EVER replace them,nothing could ever replace any of my precious babies. Even thinking of that sickens me. My issue is that I want my body back, I want to move on with this part of my life. I love childbirth, but there are other ways of full-filling my love for that. I'm a doula, I want to become a childbirth educator, and eventually a midwife. My DH supports me in this 100% b/c he knows I love pregnancy birth and everything that comes along with it, but I can't keep having babies b/c of that passion, lol! I'm almost 100% this is what I want to do, and I have 6 1/2 more months to think about it. My fear is 5 years from now, I just hope my mind doesn't change then. Adoption isn't really something we are interested in doing, although I think it's amazing I just don't think we would do it. But I can't base my life on fears of the future. I get pregnant SO easily that m luck i'd wind up pregnant with #5 before #4 is even 1 year old. I've never made it past any of my kids 1st birthday without already being pregnant with my next baby! Anywho, i'm rambling, thanks for everyone's advice!!!
I had my tubes tied last March. I went in to the hospital at noon, had my surgery at 4:30 (finally, the dr had a emergency c-section to do in between) and was on my way home at 7. I went straight to bed, and I just took it easy for a few days. I did have a minor complication, being that my lower incision got infected, and I got some antibiotics for that. I'd say I was totally back to normal after a week.
The only thing that concerned me previous is what my periods would be like, I had been on the bcp for years off and on, and when I was ttc my periods would be much heavier, but it has been just fine, and they're right on schedule.
I have no regrets, there is always that 3% of me that wants to have another baby, but I would have that regardless of how many kids I had. I know people do it, but I could not imagine being pregnant while having to care for 5 others.
Good luck whatever you decide, and enjoy your last pregnancy.
I had my tubes tied and I have never regretted it. I was in and out of the hospital within a few hours. I took it easy afterwards, like the docs said to, but I didn't really have any pain except for when I first woke up. I have had no side effects. However, Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome is very real and affects a fair amount of women, so be sure you research that and know the risks. Good luck in whatever you decide!
Alora & Kylie: 5
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I was able to have my tubal done a day after I had Wynston. To be honest, it hurt more than actually having Wynston but I guess after pushing a baby out, you are hurting regardless. I was a little depressed after having it done but I have come to the point that I am glad with my decision. BUT make sure that you are finished having children.