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My name is Anna (25) and my wonderful DH is Steven (33). We have three wonderful children ages 6, 3, and 7 months with a fourth on the way. I guess I'll start at the beginning and make my first entry the longest!
DH and I were married on November 16, 2007. That was the day that we officially began TTC, though we did a few months of NTNP leading up to it. He is the step-father of my older two children and the only father they've ever known. He loves them like his own, but he still wanted children that were biologically his as well and we both wanted a big family.
In February 2008 (I think) I went for my annual PAP and told my OB that we were TTC. Given my history and that we'd already failed four actively trying cycles she said that we were dealing with some form of secondary infertility. Once we hit the one year mark she would be able to refer me to an RE for testing to figure out what was going on, but in the mean time she wanted DH to do an SA since they would require one anyways. Needless to say he never did it.
Skip ahead to March 2008 and I was noticeably late. I'll admit I wasn't the best at keeping track of my odd cycles, but it was odd enough that I took notice. I called my PCP who ordered a quantitive HCG. We were certain it would be positive because my older two were both TTA babies so we were shocked when they called and said less than 2. DH took it a lot better than I did, but he's a man.
Time went on and my cycles kept getting worse and worse and worse. They're were gradually becoming even more irregular and horrendously painful compared to the norm. Eventually I gave up (I don't remember when) and went back to my OB because I was concerned by how heavy my periods had become and how painful they had become. She did a basic pelvic exam and told me that she thought she felt a fibroid. She said it was very likely that I would need surgery to remove it before we could have a viable pregnancy if we could get pregnant at all. She ordered blood work and a CD 7 ultrasound to confirm the fibroid and scheduled a follow-up. These are the results from the blood work...
When I went in for the ultrasound it looked weird, but I didn't really know what I was looking at. The tech made a couple of odd comments which really didn't help. It took awhile for all of the results to reach my OB, but when they did and I was able to see her again she said that I didn't have a fibroid and surgery wouldn't be necessary. Instead she gave me a diagnosis of PCOS and said she felt I may have some endometriosis as well. She said that my estrogen was too low for where she wanted it and combined with my symptoms, charts, and polyfollicular ovaries (hence why it looked weird) she didn't feel we would be able to conceive on our own. She prescribed 50mg of Clomid to be taken CDs 5-9 and told me to be sure I continued to use OPKs and chart during that time so we could get an idea of how well it was working.
My first Clomid cycle I didn't O until CD 19 and we had a harsh, but expected, BFN.
My second Clomid cycle I didn't O until CD 17 and before the end of the 2WW my OB called in a higher dosage of 100mg. A few days later we got our BFP. The 100mg is sitting in my cupboard collecting dust.
On August 17, 2009 we welcomed our Clomid baby into the world. She is a healthy, beautiful little gem that keeps us on our toes!
Following the birth of our youngest I began to experience a lot of pelvic pain that was severe enough just holding our newborn nearly brought me to tears. I went to my new OB (I switched due to moving) and she felt that perhaps I had a postpartum uterine infection since my water had broken and I didn't go into labor. She prescribed two antibiotics and told me to come back if things got worse or didn't improve. I did end up going back at which point she said that she felt my old OB had been wrong and that I don't have endometriosis. She did a pelvic exam and immediately found the source of the pain which nearly put me through the ceiling. At that point she said I'm dealing with Adenomyosis in addition to the PCOS.
Adenomyosis (to my understanding) is a condition in which one or more glands are misplaced causing uterine lining to grow within the uterine wall instead of inside the uterus or outside of it like you see with endometriosis. The source of the pain she found was an inflamed gland inside the uterine wall that is irritated at certain points in my cycle and especially worse during my period when cramps are applying pressure. The only 100% way to diagnose Adenomyosis is to have a hysterectomy and confirm it through inspection of the removed tissue. Obviously not something I want to do right now!
That day I was prescribed BCP to help with the pain and to control the symptoms of my PCOS. I was only to take it for a month (unless I chose to do more) at which point we could resume TTC. She felt that nothing would happen due to the two conditions combined and because my Adenomyosis (it also can cause infertility) had flared up again so quickly. We formed a plan to begin Metformin in February 2010 and if I was not pregnant again within three months they would add Clomid to the mix. Until then we would NTNP rather than stress about OPKs and all of that right away.
On December 10th, 2010 (despite both conditions) we were surprised with a beautiful BFP. I had only had two periods since having our youngest so in terms of cycles it didn't take long!
On March 16th, 2010 we found out that our surprise baby will be another little girl.
Right now we plan to begin NTNP again right after this little lady is born. We've always talked about having at least 5 children and we prefer to do it without the Clomid Crazies if possible. It's most likely that my PCOS and Adenomyosis will both worsen with time so we want to take full advantage of postpartum fixes which can be so short lived.
Just an odd vent today, but I am hating my skin! Usually when I'm pregnant I don't have a single pimple. Not one until the baby is born and then I go back into full acne mode. Now it's like my skin has decided that I don't get a break and they're just springing up every time I blink.
DH seems to be changing his mind about wanting one more. It really has me worried because I know the more time that goes by after Sarah's born the "normal" I'll become. Considering my normal is infertile I don't see that as a good thing! Plus even if he changes his mind he doesn't want to use Clomid again and definitely won't do anything beyond that. Then add the fact that I'll need a hysterectomy at some point for my adenomyosis and it feels like this really might be our last baby. Maybe our family will feel complete after Sarah's here, but right now I'd still really like to try one more time for another boy.
Things just keep on changing around here! DH is talking about one more and seems to really be fine with the idea. He loves kids so much and really wants at least one more. Hopefully a boy, but he'll be happy either way. We both will be. So now that our precious Sarah is here I'm pretty sure we're going back to NTNP! I'd love more recovery time to be totally honest. If we get pregnant right away without medical assistance again though it would be wonderful. It's so much better when you don't have to worry about the extra tests and monitoring that come with an assisted pregnancy. Not that I didn't like the ultrasounds, but eventually you get tired of needles. I am exclusively breastfeeding this time so I'm not sure when my cycles will start up again. Since it hasn't even been a week since Sarah was born, though, I'm thinking it'll at least be a month. After that who knows what will happen?
In a weird way I don't think I've ever felt so broken as I do right now. Between PCOS, Adeno, and EBF'ing NOTHING should be going on. Instead I seem to finally be having "normal" cycles. Umm... Huh?!? Sure AF is a bit light, but it's becoming predictable. Why is it that it takes conditions that should guarantee infertility for my body to decide to act the way it's supposed to? Oh I'm sure we won't get pregnant and I'm not really ovulating, but that imitation is just so frustrating. I want to be normal when I am fertile. I want to be normal when it's going to lead to a baby. I just flat out want to be normal.