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I'm not sure how to start but here we go....
My name is Melissa, I'm 26, and my husband and I are trying to conceive but I have PCOS. I should tell you that I have known from high school that I have PCOS, however, at the time it was a condition that no one really cared to treat until they were ready to have children. But now they know differently.
But I really started to notice big changes shortly after I met my now husband 3 years ago. I started noticing dark thick hair growth, acne, and I used to have an irregular period about every 2-3 monts however in the last several years I'm lucky to get two periods a year.
My husband and I wanted to start a family right away after we got married I new this ahead of time so of course I looked to my OBGYN before we even got married, at the time she put me on just metformin assuming that by the time I got married and really ready for children maybe it would do the trick, but it didn't shortly after we were married she put me on my first doses of provera and then clomid. We started out at 25 mg now almost 10 months later I am on 150 mg of clomid, and the horrible thing is, is that I have not once ovulated in the time that we were married in september up to this date.
Luckily I am being sent to a reproductive endocrinologist in a few weeks and I am hoping that it will help us in starting a family.
After watching so many friends and family start famlies of their own, although I am happy for them, I do experience a great amount of jealousy. I have even hit the point that I will not go to diaper parties and sometimes not even baby showers, I have even walked out of church once because they were doing a baptism. Doesn't that sound horrible of me?
It really hurts when my husband's family if fertile myrtle each having at least 4 children! And they keep asking why we aren't trying because "its so easy, you are just doing something wrong" I guess I am just at this point that I am mentally exhaused keeping this all in and just need someone to tell this to and this looked like a good place to do it... I hope.
So today has turned out to be just a horrible day. I was talking to someone that I felt I could confide in with my PCOS issue and making it very difficult to conceive. I thought that I could because she told me herself that she had to have MA to have her son and her twins.
So I tell her that I am going to go to an RE and then she in turn tells me that she wouldn't do that because If God wanted me to have a baby he would have given me one!!! Are you kidding!
I was so angry and without thinking I said then why does God give people cancer, does he want them off of this earth?
I promised myself i would never go off of the deep end with this but it just came out. I feel so ashamed of myself. I even told my husband maybe this means i would be a horrible parent.
I don't know what made me say it but I was definatly wrong in saying it. I tried to tell her I was sorry but she said I stepped over the line. Which didn't she step over my line? I'm not sure how to feel.
You know what Melissa that lady was wayyy over the line. She has no right in telling you that, nor should she even try to speculate What God has in mind for you. She should have thought the same thing of herself when she struggled with similar issues. There are many things in life that are a struggle and this just may be one of them but it is well worth the fight. I think you handled yourself pretty well with that lady because I think I would have said far worst. The main thing you want to do though is forget about her and just remain positive. I've read online about soooo many women who thought their turn would never come and then finally things changed and they were writing their success stories. Quite a few women also somehow got pregnant in a month where they stopped talking clomid or even gave up. My sister is 29 and the doctors told her that she had NO HOPE! that she was in early menopause and she would never conceive so she gave up... she went away on vacation and came back pregnant. So I just want to encourage you that altho we rely on the doctors for their knowledge and wisdom, they don't know ALL things... let's trust God to deal with it; He created our bodies and knows it better than anyone.
I too am in a quite similar situation as you. I'm 31 and have PCOS and have with my husband for 3 years and have not gotten pregnant. We were not trying all that time but we also weren't protecting ourselves. This month is my actual first round of clomid @ 50mg and I'm just going to remain hopeful and trust that God will supply all my needs, as His words promise.
Take care, remain Hopeful, Trust God and stay away from those negative people who think they know the mind of God!