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Kayla's Journal TTC #1


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  #1  
February 13th, 2012, 04:15 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 14
So this is the first time I have ever joined a forum, and I am hoping this will really help me out. It is so hard to be trying to conceive with PCOS when no one else understands what it is like. I don't know a single person with PCOS let alone TTC with PCOS. So whenever I start talking about what I am going through everyone thinks they understand and tell me everything will be fine and everything happens for a reason. But these are all people who have two or three kids and got pregnant just by looking at their husbands it seems like. It just gets really frustrating.
Enough complaining... I just got diagnosed with PCOS in the end of December. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since May, so it was good to find out what was causing the complications, but it also scared me to know that there is something wrong that could actually make this process impossible. It took many MANY tests to finally get diagnosed, so I was getting very discouraged along the way. I just finished my first round of Clomid, and I am waiting to take a pregnancy test. I am feeling very discouraged though because I did have a positive ovulation test, but then my temperature didn't spike four another three days, and now it is doing back down. I am trying to be positive, but it is getting hard.
Finally, my family is driving me CRAZY! No one knows besides my husband and my mom in my family that I am TTC, and my family keeps asking me question after question about when I will finally start having babies, and why I haven't had a baby yet. It is killing me inside because there is nothing I want more than to have a baby and all they ever do is remind me that I don't seem capable of this process. I know this is a really long journal entry, but I have had a lot of this on my chest for a while since there is no one I know who understands what I am going though.
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  #2  
February 13th, 2012, 05:56 PM
aubers68's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 4,183
Welcome to JustMommies! The journals are a great way to vent.... and the forums are a great way to learn new things about PCOS and talk with others who have it. Hope to see you posting on the actual PCOS board as well Can't wait to get to know you better.
~Aubrey
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  #3  
February 14th, 2012, 07:41 AM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
I agree with Aubrey!! Great way to vent! Welcome. I know just how you feel. We're on about the same timeline.. lots of dissappointments in trying to get diagnosed. I just got diagnosed in December, too. I have done metformin and Ovarian Drilling. If you ever have questions of ovarian drilling, you can ask me.. Although, I'm just over a week out of surgery so don't have many answers yet.. just how it went. Hope that this round of Clomid works for you.. You aren't alone.
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  #4  
February 14th, 2012, 01:11 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Thanks for welcoming me ladies, I really appreciate it, and I love that fact that there are people on here who are going through the same thing I am or already has and knows what it feels like to go through this.
I am completely frustrated today. My temperature didn't spike after my OPK test was positive for three days, and now my temperature starting going back down. This morning my temperature was actually lower then it was the day I tested positive. Does this mean I didn't ovulate, that I didn't conceive, or is this just another sign that my body is crazy? Just to be safe I took another OPK test today to make sure the first wasn't a false positive, but today's test was negative. I guess I just have to continue with the 2ww. I just have absolutely no patience and I feel like I am already a failure this month because my temperature charting is all over the map. :(
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  #5  
February 15th, 2012, 04:14 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 14
Having a rough morning, why is it that it seems like EVERYONE is getting pregnant right now besides me? It seems like everyone is getting pregnant, and especially the people who weren't even trying. It just gets so frustrating when there is one thing I want so bad but I don't seem to be able to accomplish and everyone else can get pregnant without even trying, and some people when they don't even want a baby.
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  #6  
February 20th, 2012, 06:48 AM
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So it is now CD 29, I was cramping the last few days, and I have already decided that I am not pregnant. I have been waiting for my period to start, but now the cramps have stopped completely. I took a test today to verify and I got a BFN, which is what I was expecting from the way my body felt. I just really wish that my period would start on its own. I do NOT want to go through another cycle of Provera. It worked and got my period started last time, but it just feels like I am completely wasting 10 days because there is absolutely nothing that I am doing while I am on the Provera. I just want my period to start so I am that much closer to being able to try again. If I have to have a period because I didn't get pregnant I at least want it to start soon so that I can start trying again soon.
I am pretty sure through that I did not ovulate this month because I had a LH surge but then didn't have a temperature spike for another 4 days after the LH surge reading, so I am going to see if the doctor will up my dose of Clomid this month. Hopefully I will have more success this cycle then I did this past cycle. I just which my new cycle would start already. (If you can't tell I have absolutely no patiences when it comes to my body)
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  #7  
February 27th, 2012, 04:01 AM
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So today is day 36 of my cycle and I got a BFN So now it is the day when I start my second round of Provera to get my period started. I am really upset that I was not successful during my first cycle with Clomid, but I ready to get my second round started. Hopefully the doctor will give me a high dose this round since I didn't ovulate. This next 10 days is going to be torture because there is nothing I can do but wait it out until I am done with the Provera and start waiting for Aunt Flow to arrive.
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  #8  
March 4th, 2012, 02:32 PM
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Today is day 7 of Provera. I can't wait for the next three days to be over so that I will be done with the Provera. I know it is necessary to start my period, but I am just raedy for my period to start already. (Who knew I would be looking forward to my period coming!) I am starting 100 mg of Clomid on Day 3 of my cycle, so I am ready for my cycle to start already. I am just hoping that I actually ovulate this month. It is so discouraging to go through all of this and not even ovulate. I am ready to get this whole process started again.
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  #9  
March 4th, 2012, 07:30 PM
aubers68's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm coming in a tad late. But I want to say that I would never get my temp spike until days after my surge, it's normal. You typically don't ovulate until 12-36 hours after your surge. Some readings even say 36-48 hours.
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  #10  
March 8th, 2012, 02:43 PM
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My last day of Provera was yesterday, and my period started today! Wasn't expecting it until at least tomorrow (last cycle I started two days after stopping Provera) but I started today. That means I am going to get to start Clomid on Saturday! I am getting to take 100 mg this month, because I didn't ovulate on 50mg. Just glad that this cycle is started and the process is starting again!
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  #11  
March 10th, 2012, 05:52 AM
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So Thursday was just a false alarm, apparently I was just spotting, but my period did start yesterday, so I will be starting my Clomid tomorrow instead of today. Looking forward to getting to Clomid starting, and really hoping that I ovulate this month.
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  #12  
March 17th, 2012, 01:12 PM
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Today is cycle day 9, and I starting using ovulation tests today. Strangely I actually got a positive ovulation test today. I think this seems really early for a positive, but I guess I will just have to wait and see. I am going to go ahead and test tomorrow and see what happens. I am justing hoping that I actually ovulate this month.
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  #13  
March 21st, 2012, 04:19 AM
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I feel like a complete failure today. It feels like I am never going to get pregnant. I feel like if I am never able to have a baby then I am not a real woman. I just see everyone else having success stories, and it just reminds me that everyone is capable of getting pregnant but I can't so I just must be a complete failure. I know it is only my second round of Clomid, but this cycle I got a positive ovulation test on day 9 (which seems way too soon), but then my temperature spiked, went straight back down, went up again, and now I am back down. It seems like this is never going to happen for me.
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  #14  
April 13th, 2012, 02:20 PM
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So yesterday was day 35 of my cycle, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative so I started my next round of Provera to start my period again. Apparently once again I didn't ovulate. I called the doctor's office to get a new prescription of Clomid and they said I had to come in first to get a pelvic exam to make sure everything was fine after taking two months of Clomid. So this morning I had my pelvic exam and everything was fine, now I am just waiting to finish my Provera to then start my period, and then I get to start my 150 mg dose of Clomid. My doctor said she would take me up to 200 mg of Clomid next time if I needed it, but if I still hadn't ovulated with 200 mg that I would have to go see a fertility specialist. So I really hope I ovulate this time!
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  #15  
April 23rd, 2012, 01:21 PM
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Finished up my ten days of Provera on Saturday, was expecting my cycle to start today, but still haven't seen anything. Waiting patiently for my period to start so I can finally start my 150 mg of Clomid. Really hoping it works and I actaully ovulate this month!
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  #16  
May 5th, 2012, 04:12 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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On day 12 of my cycle and still haven't gotten a positive ovulation test yet. I know it is common to ovulate around day 14, but it is making me a little crazy with all the waiting. I just really need to ovulate this cycle for my own piece of mind. This is my third round of Clomid, and if I don't ovulate this time I may have to go see a fertility specialist. Keeping my fingers crossed.
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