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As you have probably guessed, i'm Ash. So today was an epic day for me... besides watching the new spiderman film (which was great btw), my DH and I decided to REALLY try to have a baby. Now don't get me wrong, DH and I have had many "drunk, accidental nights"... but nothing has ever eventuated from it. I spent most of my teenage years trying not to get pregnant, in hindsight, i wish i didn't worry so much
So here is a little about me:
i'm 25. A student. i've been married for two years to a great, funny and kind man who is the spitting image of brad pitt. (thelma and louise, not fight club). i'm a pretty lucky girl. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2010, but honestly, i knew i was "different" from the other girls at thirteen. 6 months between periods was just the icing on my PCOS cake.
So, here we are. It's easter sunday...12.07am. I'm sitting in bed wondering what i would be like as a mother. what my baby would look like. what my baby would laugh at. It breaks my heart to know that the "drunk, accidental nights" have turned into a year of unprotected sex and still no baby... but i guess i wasn't really trying very hard. OPK's were very far between. everything just became too overwhelming and life got in the way.
BUT NOW, IT'S TIME FOR A NEW START.
No more excuses. No more fear. I'm telling that little voice (you know, the one that says "you're infertile") to shut it's pie hole. For Easter DH and I bought each other baby clothes instead of Easter eggs. For motivation. For hope.
In this journal i will be completely honest. That's my promise to you. I will also be completely committed. That's my promise to me.
This is my story...from a mess to a mommy...we'll heres hoping, anyway.
Today has been kind of bitter/sweet for me. I tested my FSH levels and it was a feint positive. I guess it is good that I found out in advance... before things get any worse. I've decided to enter a weight loss challenge... 12 weeks of hell in order to achieve my dreams. I'm up for the challenge.