[Cheet_oh]

Hello everyone. I have been hesitant to join this board I guess because joining makes it just as real as the medication and I don't know how I feel about that yet.

I'm Angela 33, married to Doug 28. Doug and I have a gorgeous 2 month old daughter, Ava and I have 3 beautiful children from a previous marriage; Steven 16, Sebastian 14 and Yaasmina 9.

I had baby blues pretty bad just after I had Ava, I cried it out one night and felt better for a couple weeks. Well, lately, I've been really nasty and angry with everyone. I feel hopeless and like a horrible mother. Miss Ava has been a bit more high maintenance than the other kids were at that age and she seems to be the complete opposite (she hates the swing, has reflux, colic, loves the tummy time mat, my other kids were the opposite). As silly as this sounds, I blame myself for her colic and reflux because I had horrible heartburn when I was pregnant with her and I feel that since I took Zantac, that caused her reflux and colic. That is a huge part of my depression.

DH told me a few nights ago that I haven't been dealing with Ava's colic very well and that I'm taking it out on him (which I am). It got so bad one night, we had a screaming match and I didn't even want to look at Ava. This is when I knew I needed help.

My OB put me on 50mg of Zoloft.

Sorry I got a little long-winded, just wanted to share my experience and I look forward to meeting all of you!

[silverlife]

I know it's hard, but don't blame yourself for the reflux and colic! My son had colic and I did a lot of reading about it. They have no clue what causes it, but they do know that things like what you eat, genetics, parenting styles, etc do not cause it. Colic rates are about the same around the world, regardless of formula/breast feeding, mom's diet, ethnicity, etc.

The only bit of advice I have is that babies do eventually outgrow colic. I just had to keep telling myself that it wasn't forever. My husband also helped out a lot. He would take our son between feedings in the evening so that I could sleep, even though our son was screaming. Is your husband able to help out to give you a break from the screaming?

[JessP]

I wish I could give you a big hug . My son had reflux and he would cry and cry because it hurt so bad. They finally agreed to give him some medicine but he still cried so much. We finally started just sleeping him on his tummy. I talked with his doctor. He gained so much relief from sleeping on his tummy and he felt better. It helped so much and I got more sleep too. I have heard that taking a colicy baby outside can help sometimes. Maybe you two could go for a walk. Then you would get some exercise and she might get some relief. I hope that we can help you get through this. This too will pass and you will start feeling like your old self before you know it.

[hopenot4gotten]

Hi Ang! Nice to see you here, too. Ava is so beautiful!
Im sorry you are going through this, too. PM me anytime.

((((HUGS)))

[cakelady]

Welcome to this board, Angela.

Personally, I find it hard to talk about ppd, too, so you're making a really courageous step by talking about it. I'm here if you need to talk.