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I would mention your feelings to your dr on friday. It does sound like you have PPD or at least depression. There are many things that can help you find that peace and self worth you are needing. Have you looked into online courses? What about working from home to give you something outside the kids and the house? Do you have a hobby you used to do? I love to scrapbook and 99% of the time I take pictures of happy things that help lift my spirit when I am down. I am by no means perfect or have the perfect formula. This is what I tried. With my first and second children I took medicine to help me cope. You might want to try to do a 20-30 min work out dvd or walk or something. Not for the weight loss or anything just for the endorphines it releases. That always helps me feel better. Its ok to be frustrated and tired. It is completely normal to feel lost. It is normal to feel like you went from be Ashley to mom or wife. Do you go to church? Churches have a great support and social network. And if DH doesn't work Sunday mornings you could go alone, get a break, meet some new people and it might help. Are there mommy and me play groups? I hope some of this helps. I hope that when you need us you know we are here. You can PM me if you would like as well. I am usually on everyday in the evenings.
I had my baby in February 08 and I think I had PPD for several months afterwards.I had a c-section and I had a really hard time dealing with that and then my baby had colic for the first 4 months......
It seemed like it had gotten somewhat better but then my husband deployed in May of this year and I work full time and it has been really hard trying to balance work and a toddler and housework and bills....I was crying all the time over anything and everything and I just wanted to stay at home when I wasn't working....I finally called my ob/gyn and they prescribed me some Lexapro.I have been on it a little over a month now and things are better now....