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Through out my pregnancy I was depressed... Fiance and I didnt get along too well and wasnt there for me really... Before him I had a great paying job, a town home and son, great friends and family.... the life. I started feeling worthless and not good enough and then I had my DD, I instantly changed.... My kids were and still are my life. Didnt have a problem there but my depression about myself has gotten worse. My DD is now 9months and I lost my job and getting ready to lose our house... My depression has gotten to the point that I have suicide thoughts to hurt myself but not my kids, Never my kids!! I'm afriad to tell anyone because I dont want to lose my kids and my Fiance said that if I left I could not take my youngest with me because I am not a fit parent... I have really bad anxiety as well but never diagnosied by a Doctor.... Just I have read the symtoms online... I dont have a job, no unemployment, no money, no insurance how do I get help? He also said that this is all in my head and that if I wanted it to stop I would stop lashing out at him, stop starting all the fights, Not trust him and always think that he has some scheme he's hiding from me....
Find a sliding scale clinic in your area and start seeing someone for your depression. When I was uninsured/unemployed several years ago, I went to a sliding scale clinic; they charge based on income. The psychiatrist there was even able to give me the samples that that the drug reps bring by so that I didn't have to pay for my medication.
Getting out of the deep depression fog will help you a lot in figuring out what you can do to help your situation.
Mama to a lower elementary school boy, preschool girl, and my miracle baby girl.
Two 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011)
I agree please find someone you can talk to. I know that people who haven't dealt with depression don't understand. I hope that you can find a job that will help your self esteem. There are also phone numbers you can call to get help. I have been at that point and I wish I could offer more than a post here. Please PM me if you need someone to talk to.