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I think I may have PPD? I took a quiz and only answered 2 questions with a no. (losing weight and no interest in sex). Which the sex thing has slowed down. I going to talk to my doctor Thursday when I take the baby in for his 2 month check up.
I feel so BAD for feeling so bad. I can't even make my baby happy anymore. My husband does a better job calming him down. I am scared to death of him some days. Hell I am scared of myself some days.
I thought it would go away after a few weeks but it hasn't it seems to be getting worse.
Every time he whines I flinch. Especially at night. Somedays I have to force myself to play with him. It's not coming natural this time. Everytime I think about it i want to cry. Nights ARE THE WORSE. I just keep thinking i have a heard time sleeping. I have had thoughts of running away and dying (even though I never would do it). It's so wrong for me to feel this way. It was never this bad with my first one.
Of course when Brandon was 4 weeks old he was diagnoised with pyloric stenosis and had surgery. That was really hard. All he did was throw up after he turned 2 weeks old. I think that is when I started getting the blues but it hasn't gone away.
Even writing this I start crying.
I also think he is getting colicy.
Edited cause asking people who don't know me to share stories was to personal. Sorry.
The visit with the doctor went really well. He put me back on Prozac. I was on it 7 yrs ago after I had my son.
He said it help take some of the anixety away but the rest of it would take a few weeks to take full effect.
So far it has taken the edge off the anixety but the night time is still the hardest time a day. The baby is sleeping pretty good but my mind races alll night.