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I don't know if I belong here...... ? Is it even possible to call this PPD anymore ...?
I have been very upset / sad / depressed / unhappy and just don't know who to talk anymore. I have tried family members, and even my close friends.. and just feel so lost and hurt, and confused.
It has been 7 months since Madison was born, and almost 19 since Ethan was born... now one would think the depression should be long faded by now... and boy is it not.
I feel like crying all the time, I feel distanced more and more from my DH and kids lately, and I just feel all of these feelings that I just don't think I should be feeling... I feel as if my marriage is in question, my mother is not helping things any, and I am just overall unhappy, at a time I should be excited about most things......
I know I may need someone more to talk to, but don't know that I am comfortable with going to an actual shrink. I don't know why, I just feel odd.
I am sorry girls, I probably have no place posting this here, and am very sorry, seriously. You girls don't need anymore drama, and well, I am sure don't want to hear someone else whine ....
I just don't know what else to do... I feel as if I am just ready to burst.
I was lurking this bored and your comments about broken my heart. I know my PPD didn't hit until my son with five months old. I had warning signs before, but I just disreagrded them as new mommie paranoia. I didn't talk to anyone about and it wasn't until the day after I lost my job for not going to work because I was at home seriously considering putting my son back in my tummy so I could better protect him that I realized I had a problem.
Different things can trigger what you are feeling right now. I read/heard somewhere that PPD can be worse/longer with mommies whoes children are closer together like yours. You said you are paranoid about your marriage, is your feelings /thought interfering with your intimacy? Are the children? You said your mother isn't helping? Is she close enough she can take the kids so you can have a romantic dinner with your spouse and work on communication?
When I suffered from my PPD I tried talking to my mother about it and she told me to grow up and be happy. She didn't believe in PPD because she had nine kids without so therefore it couldn't exsist. I know mother's are supposed to have the answers to everything, but sometimes they aren't prepared.
You need to talk, well I am here and I will listen. And I won't think you are crazy.