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For some reason I was remembering when my grandpa died. At around 4am my mom came to my house knocked lightly I didnt hear her something in me just said "Helen you need to go downstairs" and than when I went down I heard her knock again. When she told me I just said ok and she left and I went to bed. I finally broke a couple days later. Well I started remembering him lastnight after he had his stroke and he was confused all the time and kept asking for his daughter who died last year( no one told him because he was so bad) and than I remembered the good times and I lost it. I layed in bed sobbing and I couldnt breath I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. Today dh has commented how I seem "weird and distant" shouldnt I be over this by now?
No. My grandfather dies last year and I am still not entirely over it. I don't think that I ever will be 100% over the loss of both of my grandfathers. However, it does get easier. The Holiday's always make it hard. Hang in there sweetie.
I am so sorry Helen. I did not see your post until just now!!
I think that it is completely normal to still have the feelings you are having. People grieve in different ways, kwim? There will probably always be things that remind you of him and might bring a tear to your eyes.
I think its getting harder because of the holidays (hmmm maybe I will skip xmas) and sometimes I cant stand to look at Connor because he is a spitting image of my grandpa I feel horrible but right now its still hard kwim? Im not saying I dont love my son more than anything its just hard right now.