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Last nite I was so ready to give up Shyla. To sign my rights over to her stupid father and his family. and just run away, And it's nothign that she did. I feel like a failure as a mom because i am 30 years old, living with my Grandpa because I can't afford to live on my own. And looking at getting kicked out of there because my grandpa can't remember to eat what I made for him. My Sister has decided that I will be getting a 30 day notice to get out. So in 30 days my daughter and I will be living in my truck. So I might as well give her up so she atleas has a roof over her head. It's not enough for my sister that I work 12 hour shifts, take care of my daughter, and up till abotu 2 in the morning to make food for my grandpa to eat while I'm at work. But not eat because he forgets that it's in the fridge. She is bound and determined to make me homeless and to lose my daughter. it's like I told my parents last nite, I'm so stressed out over the tiniest little things anymore, that it's stresses me out to go to bed, it stresses me out to get up, I can't even blink without getting stressed.....But my ohhh so perfect sister doesn't understand that She's always been a stay at home mom, with a husband to help her take care of their kids. she has no clus what it takes to take care of a infant, an 87 year old man, a house, a vehicle, a job, and try to not go insane and kill eveyone in the process.
I have no clue as to what I'm going to do. I can't even begin to think where to start. last nite after Shyla went to bed I cleaned out all ove the baby stuff from the kitchen, dining and living room and took it all to mine and Shy's bedroom. So there is now no sign of a baby living in the house except for in my bedroom. which is now so jam packed full of stuff that I have a path from my bed to Shy crib which is about a foot distance, other then that there's no sign of a floor. It's covered in baby toys. I am bring home some boxes from work today and I'm packing up everything. and loading it all into the bed of my truck and Shy and I will start spending our nights after work in the bed of my truck so She can atleast have some place to play.
I just can't do this anymore, I can't. I have been fighting with my sister ever since I was a little kid. And here we are 30 and 38 still fighting. I'm giving up....atleast on her.
You can't let it get to you. Just because she doesn't understand you. You are doing everything you can for you and your daughter and that says a whole heck of a lot, and if she can't realize that, then maybe you guys should part ways for a while. She'll realize how much you really did. Hang in there, its gotta get better!
After talking to my sister it turns out that She reacted the way she did because my grandpa was telling her nothing but lies.....that I didn't cook for him but yet after making a list I cooked for him all but 2 days....and those day there were left overs in the fridge!! Then He was also telling her that I was kicking him out of his bedroom and that he wasn't allowed to do this and that and that his bird now has to locked up in the bedroom because I told him that I wouldn't let him have it anywhere else. So I talked with him about what he had said. I told him that I never said anything and if that is how he is feeling then he needs to tell me so i can change what I am doing to make him feel that way. I swear you'd think an 87 year old man would know the truth from a lie! But that was the whole reason behind everything.....and the Depression just seemed to make it worse. That's why I finally went and filled my Script for the Zoloft i couldn't take a chance of me thinking of signing over my rights and not being in my right mind to stop and think about it. I need to be here 110% for her.