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Hi Ladies, Im part of the Jan 08 PR, my little guy Dylan is almost 3 weeks old.
Ive been feeling anything but maternal since having my baby. I get so frustrated and overwhelmed throughout the day with him and I just dont feel any kind of bond with him. Im currently on maternity leave and the weather is so bad here that I never get to really leave the house which is a huge change for me. Ive been working full time since I was 17 years old and always had a million errands to run and something to do, Im have a very rough time adjusting to life with baby and have been crying all day everyday missing my life pre-baby and asking why I wasnt on BC years ago so this wouldnt have happened. Sometimes I seriously want to give Dylan up for adoption. I just dont know if this is PPD or if Im still in the process of adjusting to my new life and having a difficult time. I cant stand it when he cries for hours at a time and Ive tried everything to get him to stop, but he just wont. I keep thinking that being a mom is not for me and I'll never feel any sort of bond with my son. Everyone keeps saying that I need to have patience with him and love him, that it will get better, and this makes me want to scream!! I know it will get better, but until it does I dont know what Im going to do. I dont have any help throughout the day except for my sil who comes by for a few hours a couple of times a week and it makes such a difference when shes here or DH is home.
First off Congrats on your VERY BEAUTIFUL baby boy!! From what you said it may be PPD. The feeling of becoming a first time mommy is very overwhelming that I know for sure!!! You get used to doing things whenever you want. And now with a little one it's a Whole new ball game. My DD is a year old now I'm still trying to get a hold of that parts!! Specially because they change soooo much the first few years of life. There are times that I forget that I have to worry about her too! And end up running to do an errand right before lunch time. Which makes for one cranky little one when you are out and about! It's just normal to miss the pre baby life. But it does get better!!
One statement tells me that it may PPD only because I used to have the exact same thoughts.........
Sometimes I seriously want to give Dylan up for adoption.[/b]
I used to use alll my self control to keep from packing up my DD things and droping her off at her father's house. Telling him that Since she didn't love me She might as well be with him. I knew better then that......after all when ever she didn't feel good, or was tired or hungry, She only wanted me. But once I was holding her if she was upset and crying She wouldn't stop. She knew that I wasn't feeling right, She knew that I wasn't happy. And that made it worrse with her. Which would lead to me laying her on my bed and yelling at her. Telling her "fine if oyu don't love me then I'll take you to live with your father" Then I would burst into tears because I knew I was doing something that wasn't right. It took me 3 month to actually go to my Dr to ask for help. My DD was 6 months old before I got the help I needed.
I suggest you call your Dr and tell him/her what you are feeling. It may be hard and a little embarassing......But think of it as if you are doing it for your DS.
Please feel free to post anytime you are down or have something to share. We are here to help any way we can
I actually have an appt with a counselor later today. I really hope she is helpful and tells me how to get through this. Im hoping that Im just overwhelmed with the baby and that in time (sooner rather than later) I'll start to feel maternal and not frustrated.
I'm glad you can talk to a counsellor, and looking forward to hearing how it went. Good luck! I also finally realized I needed help when I felt so overwhelmed, I just couldn't bare the thought of being home alone with the baby ONE.MORE.DAY.
Mama to Monkey born Feb 24th, 2007, and Toddler born Nov 1st, 2005.
I talked to the counselor and her suggestions really werent things that were feasible and she didnt help much. she said that I needed to:
1) get more sleep- this is something that if I could, I would do, but who will do night feedings?
2) have friends and family come over and help with the baby more- again its not something I can do since they work full time
3) hire help- Im on maternity leave and cant afford to hire a nanny or babysitter
4) Zoloft- not really something I want to go on right away
Ive figured out the things that I need to make me feel better all on my own which are getting out of the house more with the baby and sunshine helps a lot. I seem to feel much better on sunny days which unfortunately, dont happen very often this time of year. Ive also been getting out during the day with the baby to go shopping or visit with my dad and found that this helps a ton. When I put the baby in the car and get moving, he falls asleep and stays asleep till he gets hungry, so I dont have to worry about trying to get him down for an afternoon nap which is usually impossible and frustrating. Im also adjusting to life with a baby and have started to accept my loss of freedom. I think my loss of freedom was what was getting me down. I also decided that I can get through this without pills or counseling, but I did sign up for a new mommies support group that looks promising.
I hope that some of my findings help some of you out as well.
Well I'm sorry that the counsler was a bust. but it sounds like you have a pretty good Idea as to how to take care of yourself as well as your DS. Just remember that we are here for you if you need to vent