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A lot of you ladies have asked me to post Brogan's birth story. I am going to hold off on posting any pictures because it's still just very hard for me to look at them. I promise I will get them on here soon...he was the picture of perfection though! Here goes...sorry this is long!
On Tuesday March 2, I was at work and all afternoon I had horrible back pain. I remember my boss (to whom I'm very close and is like a second mom to me) asking me as I stood doubled over at her desk, "Are you sure you're not having contractions?" However the pain went away and so I thought nothing of it. I had an appointment the next morning in St Louis with the maternal-fetal specialist we'd seen since I had been diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma in my first trimester. We live about 3 hours from St Louis but that is the only dr anywhere close to us specializing in blood clots during pregnancy. Since mine never went away it was a cause for concern as it can lead to placenta previa or placental abruption.
Anyway, since the back pain got better we decided to go ahead and leave for St Louis that night as we didn't wanna have to wake up at the crack of dawn to drive the next morning. About an hour and a half into the drive the back pain started up again and this time I was pretty sure it was contractions. It was around this time that I remember telling Brian, "I don't remember the last time he moved." We called L&D at the hospital in St Louis since we were just as close to there as we were to home at that point. Over the phone they told us that if I was in labor it's normal for the baby not to be moving a lot. Drank some juice on the way up to try to stimulate movement but nothing worked.
When we got there a very young u/s tech came in and started the u/s and I instantly knew something was wrong. She went and got someone else and no one was saying anything. I remember telling Brian that there's no heartbeat to which he told me I was crazy and nothing bad was going to happen. The 2nd u/s tech came back as did the dr, after about a minute of looking at the u/s again the doctor very gently explained there was no heartbeat and that Brogan had already died. Then he examined me and I was actually already dilated 3cm, however, my contractions had stopped at that point. The doctor asked if we wanted to see if my body went back into labor on its own or if we wanted to induce. I chose to be induced. They hooked me up to pitocin around 12:30 am and gave me my epidural at 1am. My mom drove from our hometown and made it there around 3:30 am. I started pushing about 20 minutes later and Brogan was born at 4:24 am March 3. He was 3 lbs 13 oz and right at 17 inches long. The doctor put him on my chest right after birth and I was still able to have that moment of skin to skin contact with my son for the first time.
After a little bit of holding him in the delivery room, the very sweet nurses took Brogan and cleaned him up for me and dressed him. One of the nurses had also called a friend of hers who is a Now I lay Me Down To Sleep photographer when we first found out that Brogan would be born sleeping. Jodie, the photographer arrived and took so many pictures of us with our little man. My boss drove up and was able to also see her amazing God Son. Finally around 9:30 the nurse had to take Brogan and we said goodbye for now. I kissed him and told him how very much I loved him. Everyone else in the room did the same. I was the last to hold him before the nurse gently removed him from my arms. The cause was that he had a true knot in his cord and the cord had also been wrapped around his neck. He was my perfect angel and always will be.
Thank you for sharing this, hun. ((HUGS)) It's a tragically beautiful birth story, and I think you have so much strength to be posting this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
Im so sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine what you must be feeling now and for you to be able to post the birth story is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for finding the courage to write this up. I bet he is absolutely a beautiful baby, and it's so nice that you were able to get pictures of him to show the world how beautiful if or when you feel up to it.
__________________
~Beth~ Wife to my Airman Chris, and mommy to: Anthony Nathaniel (8/31/04), Anastasia Fae (8/01/06), Baby C (lost on 10/12/07), David Cillian (7/31/08), Charles George (4/29/10), and Alan Christopher (2/22/12)
I'm sorry you had to write this with that ending. You'll be in my thoughts. I'm sure he was perfect, and I hope the pictures are a lasting memory of the time you had with him.
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Brogan's Birth Story (Loss Mentioned)
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thank you so much for being brave enough to share that
There is nothing words can say I know... I am so sorry.
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